


My Moon: An Enjolras Love Story

by JavertsHat



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:18:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3162674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JavertsHat/pseuds/JavertsHat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WARNING: LEMON IN LATER CHAPTERS! "You cannot pretend any longer, Enjolras, that your priorities have not changed. It is clear that you are just as devoted to our country as you always have been, but now you have a reason to make it back alive. And she is that reason." Enjolras/OC, or Enjolras/Reader if you prefer to self-insert. Possible Marius/Éponine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. a moment of breathless delight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "had you been there tonight  
> you might know how it feels  
> to be struck to the bone  
> in a moment of breathless delight"
> 
> -red and black (the abc cafe)

_(NOTE: In the actual book and musical, a little known fact is that Enjolras, Combeferre, etc. are their last names. In this version, Enjolras, Combeferre, Grantaire, etc. are their first names for simplicity.)_

SÉRAPHINE POV

On April 2, 1832, I arose from my bed at around ten in the morning. This was a few hours later than was my habit. Most mornings I would rise with the sun, letting the rays of light enter through my window and stir me from my slumber. Since I lived alone, I had no one to awake me and had to rely only on the sun's beams to wake me up. As I peered at the grandfather clock across from my bed, I noticed that I had only an hour before I would be meeting my best friend in the town square. I had to hurry up to get ready or else I would be late.

My name is Séraphine Beaulieu. I am nineteen years old, a middle-class woman living in Paris, France. My father always describes me as his "little firecracker," where my mother instead thinks of me as having my "head in the sky." I do not disagree with either of them, but I prefer to think that there is more to me than impulsive passion and fantastical daydreams. Even so, I have not yet figured out who I truly am or what I truly desire. This is probably a result of my constant loneliness; were I blessed with more frequent company, I believe I would be more aware of the possibilities that await me and thus more aware of the woman I have the potential to become.

Although I have acquaintances and a best friend who goes by the name of Éponine, I still find myself longing for more people to talk to and befriend. My parents do not live with me but instead live in a cozy cottage about twenty miles north of where I live. I have only been there twice. Because of an event that happened in my youth, an event which I will describe in more detail at a later time, my parents now have to live separately from me. They still, however, supply me with what I need. They send me food, clothing, and enough money to provide for my basic necessities. In order to have some extra money to spend on the occasional nicety here and there, perhaps a book or a new frock, I have been taking up odd jobs for various people in my neighborhood. I often tend to their houses, watch their children, and sew for them. Sometimes the people I help out can be rather shady, but the company of their children and the surplus money make it worth it.

Because I did not have to work for anyone on April 2, I was meeting Éponine at eleven in the morning. I hurriedly washed myself. Then I put on one of my long red frocks and covered myself with a simple white cloak, knowing I was at risk of being tardy for my meeting with my dear friend. After quickly running a comb through my long brown locks, I stepped into my modestly-heeled shoes and took a pastry tart from my kitchen to give to Éponine. I only had a few minutes, so I scurried out the door and walked as quickly as I could without running.

I had not been in the center of the square for more than three seconds when I heard a voice yelling, "Séraphine!"

Turning around, I noticed Éponine running towards me. She had her signature devil-may-care smile plastered across her face. I could never help but admire the girl -- she had been through so much, yet she still managed to keep herself happy.

"Hello, Éponine!" I greeted in return, pulling her into a hug and handing her the pastry tart after we broke apart.

"This is wonderful, Séraphine; thanks!" she said as she hungrily ate what was probably the nicest thing she would eat all week. "You look wonderful, as usual."

I felt guilty because, although I knew she meant it as a genuine compliment, she could not hide her envy. I had been blessed with enough surplus money to buy myself a few nice garments, but she consistently arrived to our meetings in rags. Despite my guilt, I appreciated Éponine tremendously for her friendship and selflessness. Were I in her position, I would probably find it very hard not to resent someone who had what I have. For that, I considered Éponine the greatest person in my life, someone whom I counted on and looked to for counseling. She was the one person I could feel at home with, the person who made me feel like I had a family after my parents were separated from me.

"Thank you," I acknowledged. "So, did you have anything in mind to do today?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe today I would introduce you to Marius."

"Oh!" I teased gently. "The famous Marius Pontmercy that I've heard so much about!"

Éponine blushed a bright red and said, "He should be coming out for lunch in the square with the rest of the schoolboys in a half hour or so. Maybe I could take you to them? And maybe he'll let us eat with them? I think he'd want to meet you, Séraphine; God knows I talk about you enough to him."

I giggled lightly, feeling flattered that Éponine talked about me to her crush of so many years. "That sounds perfect. Now tell me, how come I haven't met Marius before?"

"Oh. Well, I guess the times have never matched up. You spend some days tending to people's children as their parents go out for lunch dates, and the boys have been spending their nights working on some secret plan. So it's hard to catch them at night, too."

"I see. In any event, I'm very excited to meet him! Anyone who can steal your heart as much as he has must be a pretty great person."

"He is, he really is!" Éponine gushed. "You'll love him, really. Just don't fall _in_ love with him!"

Chuckling, I replied, "I could never do that to you."

With that, we started walking towards the males' school. Every time I passed it I felt my stomach dance and my heart pound. There was very little I wanted more than knowledge. To be able to go to that school would be a dream come true for me. Despite the stigma, I already had many books in my house to satisfy my craving for reading. But getting first-hand experience in a school with a teacher and other students sounded too good to be true. It was one of the many things I disliked about how France was governed: females, I believed, should be able to attend schools.

Together we walked and talked about everything and nothing, which was one of the things I loved about my best friend. We could start off talking about something serious, like the state of the country, and diverge into something lighthearted like future adventures and men.

Seeming to be thinking of men herself, Éponine pressed, "So, Séraphine. There's really no one that you have feelings for?"

I shook my head no. "Most of the men I've met are lovely people, but I just don't _feel_ anything with them. I'm sure you understand, what with Marius. Pardon me if this sounds cliché, but I have a very idealistic view of love. The most important thing to me is chemistry."

"I could have said the same thing myself," Éponine smiled as we approached the front of the school building. "Here, why don't we wait out here? The boys should be coming out any minute."

I nodded, standing at the side of the building with her and feeling my heart swell in anticipation. I wanted so badly to meet Marius, and I wanted even more for Éponine to be happy. She deserved so much more than she had gotten out of life, and I knew Marius would be the answer to her prayers.

As that final thought left my head, I heard the sudden slam of a door bursting open, followed by the chatter of dozens of young men around my age. This was it! I would finally get to meet Marius and the rest of the schoolboys that Éponine spoke so fondly of. I loved meeting new people; I always spent my free time trying to make new friends. This was a perfect opportunity.

"Hey, Marius!" Éponine exclaimed, running up to her friend.

Marius appeared both surprised and happy to see her. "'Ponine! What brings you here?"

"I wanted you to meet Séraphine! She finally had the chance to come meet you."

Marius looked my way, and I flashed him my friendliest and most compassionate smile. He bowed to me, probably noticing my attire, and kissed my hand gently.

"Hello, Mademoiselle. I have heard many things about you. All good things!" he added with a chuckle.

"I can say the same for you!" I grinned, peering up at the other boys around him. Feeling awkward at having not introduced myself to the others, I curtsied and said, "My name is Séraphine. You are friends of Marius, I presume?"

"Indeed, we are," said one man with dark blond hair and a twinkle in his eyes. "My name is Combeferre."

"A pleasure," I replied warmly.

"I was wondering if it was all right if Séraphine and I joined you for lunch today?" Éponine asked, particularly looking at Marius.

"It would be our pleasure," Marius responded, leading us all off to the center of the square to get our lunch.

"Hey, Grantaire," Combeferre asked a man with dark hair and a mischievous smile, "where's Enjolras?"

"How the hell should I know?" the man called Grantaire replied as we walked.

"I'm just asking; he is your best friend, after all. Perhaps we should wait for him."

"Wait for him?!" Grantaire cackled. "Do you think that brandy out there is gonna wait for _us_? Let's _go_!"

As if on cue, a smooth voice responded from behind, "A lovely thing to say about a friend, Grantaire."

We all turned around towards the door of the schoolhouse. The man who had spoken stood confidently at the door, a smirk dancing on his lips. He oozed charisma and spirit, standing with the posture of a man who knew what he wanted and how to attain it. His eyes were a bright blue, the exact same shade as the blue on the French flag, and his hair was a wild, stray mat of golden-blond curls. His arms were folded across his red vest. Never in my life had I seen someone who so strongly demanded the attention of everyone around him, who so strongly captured everyone's gazes just with a single word and a stance like that of a solider.

That was the first thing I noticed about this man. The second thing I noticed was that, because of his charm and character, I wanted to get to know him. I found myself silently begging for him to turn his attention from Grantaire to me, begging for him to drag his ocean-blue eyes over so they were looking into my brown ones. I wanted him to notice me, to join us for lunch, to tell me his name and ask me for mine.

He was such a magnetic man that I had to know more about him.


	2. i do not even know your name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "oh god for shame  
> i do not even know your name  
> dear mademoiselle  
> won't you say will you tell"
> 
> -a heart full of love

SÉRAPHINE POV 

"There he is!" Grantaire exclaimed as he went over to the blond man, wrapped his arm around him, and rustled his tousled hair. "Now let's get going, eh?"

The men continued their loud chatter and picked up the pace, wanting very badly to get something to eat. A few of the men introduced themselves to me as we journeyed: a kind and loving brunette named Courfeyrac; a gentle, sweet man called Joly; and a dreamy-eyed lad named Jean Prouvaire. All three of them were remarkably nice, and so far I had completely understood why Éponine enjoyed their company so much. They were gentlemanly and personable, but I had not the slightest doubt that they were capable of tremendous things. I very much wanted to spend more time with them and become close friends with them.

A few moments later, we arrived at a small, inexpensive eatery I had never seen before, let alone been into. It was cozy and intimate, with only one floor and about ten tables. There was no heavy lighting, but I did not mind because the rest of the environment was pleasant and comfortable. Marius waved to one of the hosts, calling him by his first name and flashing him a smile that indicated their familiarity. It made sense; I gathered that this was their everyday choice of dining.

"Donatien, good sir! There will be two additional guests with us today, two lovely madams by the names of Éponine and Séraphine. We will need a table for eleven."

The man called Donatien grinned and led us to what was by far the largest table in the room. It was a secluded table towards the back, with ten chairs: five on each side of the table. Marius grabbed an eleventh chair and placed it at the head.

The blond man from earlier was the one who decided to sit at the head of the table. Without knowing this man at all, without knowing his name or the slightest thing about him, I knew that to have him sitting anywhere else but where he was would be strange and out of place. A man like him belonged at the head of a table or in the center of a room, any place where he would be noticed most immediately. He was mysterious and enigmatic while still retaining extroversion and power, so I wanted to talk to him and made it a point to try and sit near him. Unfortunately for me, Marius and Éponine sat across from each other on either side of the blond man. I instead took a seat next to Éponine while Joly sat across from me. Donatien quickly took our orders and went off to prepare the food.

"Well, this is the group," Éponine told me. "Nine of Paris's most talented schoolboys."

"They're all lovely so far," I replied to her. "By the way, would you like me to buy you lunch?"

"No, thanks. I've been saving up for something like this," she said as she stole a glance at Marius across from her. I felt all at once jubilant and saddened: poor Éponine had to save up so much money solely to enjoy lunch with her companions, but the exalted look on her face as she spent time with friends softened her situation.

"Hey, have you met Séraphine?" Marius suddenly prompted the blond man at the head of the table. As Marius nodded in my direction, I sensed my face flushing. I felt vulnerable and wanted to make myself seem presentable, a similar feeling as when I would introduce myself to a new client that I would potentially work for. I have always had a desire to impress, especially people like him who seemed worth impressing.

"My name is Séraphine Beaulieu," I introduced as I reached across Éponine to shake his hand. "A pleasure."

"Enjolras," he stated.

Enjolras! What a beautiful name. It rang out like a bell, a perfect name for someone who carried himself so passionately.

"You have a lovely name, Monsieur."

"Thank you."

"Of course!" I said enthusiastically. The more I observed and spoke to this man, the more preoccupied and lost in his own head he seemed to be. It seemed as if something was troubling him. Not wanting to press but eager to indicate that I was a friend, I gave him a warm and gentle smile. He returned a small smirk and simply resumed staring at the table.

"Is he okay?" I whispered to Éponine. "He seems a little out of it."

"Oh, Enjolras," she responded. "He's always had big dreams and high goals. I'd bet you anything he's going over a plan of some sort in his head right now."

I was not surprised in the slightest.

"So, Séraphine," Joly beckoned from across from me. "How do you know our friend Éponine?"

"We've been friends for a year or so now," I told him. "I live alone, you see, and I frequently take walks around the square trying to gain company and make friends. One day I met Éponine during one of my walks, and I began a conversation with her. We bonded almost instantly, and we have been best friends ever since."

"What a nice story," Joly said genuinely, his eyes dancing. Coming in a bit closer, he whispered, "She really is a great person."

I grinned broadly, nodding in agreement. I may have been dreaming, but I could have sworn I saw his face redden and his pupils dilate when he made that last statement. Did Joly have feelings for Éponine? I would have to tell my friend about what he said and see if she knew anything.

Before I could say another word to Joly, Grantaire came over to me and Éponine. Coming in between our two seats, he put his arms around us and pulled us close to his face. "Nice to have some lovely ladies here with us for a change, isn't it, boys?"

A few of them chuckled while most shook their heads in disapproval. Enjolras huffed and told Grantaire to let go of us and go back to his seat at the other side of the table. Sadly, Grantaire obliged, but not before looking at Enjolras with the same look of admiration and longing that I had given him just minutes prior.

What was it about Enjolras? There was something about him that made every single person respond differently to him than they would to everyone else. I knew that I certainly straightened my posture and became more aware of myself while talking to him. I also had the feeling that he was the only one who could persuade Grantaire to do anything, even something as simple as letting a few girls out of his embrace. Could one person really be that persuasive, that compelling, that forceful? I felt it before I even spoke to him, and there was not a doubt in my mind that everyone else felt his presence too.

"He's pretty amazing, isn't he?" I smiled at Éponine.

"Absolutely," she laughed. "He's got one hell of a personality. Even intimidates me a little bit. And we all know that's a pretty difficult thing to do."

I chortled heartily, agreeing with her. However, as was my tendency when I was joking with Éponine, I laughed a bit too loudly and earned strange looks from the rest of the men in the room, including Enjolras. He had an amused expression on his face. Chuckling, I said I was sorry for the disruption -- in a manner that was anything but apologetic. If one is happy, I have always said, why should he be ashamed of whatever is causing his mirth?

"You do enjoy laughing, don't you?" Enjolras suddenly questioned.

My heart skipped a beat as I responded to him. "I do tend to laugh at most things. I find it the best way to live."

"A good philosophy indeed," he replied, "but do you not find it difficult to laugh in some circumstances?"

I was surprised by his sudden probing but nonetheless eager to engage in conversation. "Of course I do, but I find a way to laugh about it anyway. Isn't it preferable to laugh about something that to grovel in sadness about it?"

"So you are able to laugh at everything that has happened to you? Even the bad things?"

"Well, now I am. You have to have a sense of _humor_ , of course..."

Enjolras scoffed slightly. "You must not have seen enough difficulties in your life if you can say that so comfortably."

My lips slightly parted in shock and my eyebrows angrily furrowed down. How dare he! How dare he insinuate that I had not endured anything horrible! Who was he to presume that my life was easy solely because of my humor? This Enjolras man knew nothing about me, and I found myself growing impatient and angry with him for his bold assumption. I rose out of my seat and walked over the short distance to his seat at the head of the table. It did not happen often at all, but when I got mad, everyone around me would know it. I was eruptive and fierce. And Enjolras was about to learn that the hard way: by being the recipient of my anger.

"Listen to me," I challenged loudly. "We have known each other for all of twenty minutes, and here you are asserting that I haven't seen anything terrible in my life. You know nothing of my past, nothing of my current situation, nothing but my name. Don't ever say that I haven't seen "enough difficulties," because I can assure you that I've seen some pretty horrible things. Maybe you are the one who needs to look at yourself more closely."

With that final bark of words, I moved over to my seat. I was well aware that the entire table was looking at me with mixed reactions: Combeferre looked impressed with my gall, Joly seemed to find the situation entertaining, and Grantaire appeared to take my burst of anger as a personal affront. Of course, given Enjolras's impact on the man.

"Wow," Éponine said. "Séraphine, I've never seen you so angry before..."

"Well, it's a rarity."

"I guess so..."

All was silent for a moment as my company absorbed the situation. Their impression of me must have changed quickly. For the moment, I did not care, but I knew in a few moments I would regret my outburst. What if they no longer wanted to be friends with me?

It suddenly occurred to me that I had not observed Enjolras's reaction to what had just happened. I glanced at him, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. To my surprise, he did not seem at all offended or bitter. Instead, his eyes were widened and he had a quaint, almost humored expression on his face.

"What?" I said to him, a combination of snark and embarrassment in my voice.

"Ms. Beaulieu, I believe I have struck a nerve with you."

I said nothing.

He continued, "I do apologize for anything I may have implied. I merely made a comment, one I did not expect you to react so harshly to."

"It's okay," I reluctantly grumbled, suddenly feeling guilty that I may have hurt _his_ feelings.

"Séraphine, you have passion," he continued.

"Pardon?" I asked, confused.

"I said you have passion. You're fiery." Suddenly his pensive, quizzical look turned into a grin, somewhere between a bemused smirk and a playful smile. "I like you."

My cheeks felt hot at his words. How could he say that? I had not two minutes ago screamed in his face, and here he was telling me he _liked_ me? Were I him, I would probably have a strong distaste for me.

"Again, pardon?"

"I said I like you. You seem surprised at that."

I made a strange noise in my throat, feeling everyone looking back and forth from Enjolras to me as we spoke. "Well, a little bit..."

"Don't be. You stick up for yourself; you don't seem as much the prim-and-proper bourgeois girl I thought you were upon first meeting you. And again, I apologize. Are we good?"

I absorbed his words again. Are we good, he asked? I wanted so badly to say that we were not "good," that he first assumed everything about my entire life based on my outlook on it, then presumed to make me look foolish in front of everyone with his composed reaction. His calm response to the situation was so contrary to my outburst that seemed, in hindsight, magnificently immature. Did he really not find it so? In spite of everything, I had to appreciate his apology and how calmly he had accepted my tangent. Anyone who could do that in such a mild-mannered fashion was worthy of respect and, yes, being liked. My conclusion was that I indeed liked him too. So I told him.

With a big, welcoming smile and a small laugh, I replied, "We're good."


	3. forgive a thoughtless fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "it's you who must  
> forgive a thoughtless fool  
> it's you who must  
> forgive a thankless man"
> 
> -epilogue

SÉRAPHINE POV

Donatien, our waiter, arrived with our food shortly after the exchange between Enjolras and me. We did not have very much time to eat as the boys had to be heading back for the resumption of classes in about thirty minutes. But I intended to make the most of our meal time by talking to everyone and trying to get to know them a bit better. I started with Enjolras because we were already in the middle of a discussion.

"If I may apologize for offending you," I began.

"We're good, like I said," he offered sincerely.

I gave him a small smile and turned my head to the others at the table. I had met the majority of them: Enjolras, Marius, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Joly, Grantaire, and Prouvaire. There were only two more students I had not yet met, so I called down shamelessly to the table to ask for their names.

"Hey! You two!" I gestured. "What are your names?"

"My name is Lesgle," one brunette man chuckled. Nodding towards the other one, he said, "That's Bahorel."

Bahorel nodded. "Good to meet you! And impressive job with Enjolras, you being new among us; you don't know how difficult it is to stand up to him."

I smirked as I began eating my food. These really were some of the greatest people I had ever met, and I could tell we had the potential to be great friends. I had never known a feeling of such strong like for so many people, and I had never other than when I first met Éponine wanted so badly to spend time with people and get to know everything about them. Never have I wanted to share so much about myself and learn so much about someone else -- or, in this case, many people.

"A toast," I suddenly declared, "to new friends."

"To new friends," everyone agreed, clinking their glasses together and drinking in harmony.

Lunch went by fairly quickly after that. We did not have a lot of time to eat, so we simply enjoyed the meals we had in front of us and resumed talking. I very much enjoyed getting to know the boys, and I looked forward to potentially spending more lunchtimes with them. I considered inviting them over to my house for dinner, but then I decided that would get too crowded and unpleasant. Another day, maybe. I looked forward to that day, whenever it would come.

We all finished our lunch after fun and lighthearted chatter. Éponine and I had to say goodbye to the schoolboys, so we walked outside and hugged (or shook hands with, depending on the stoicism of certain men in question) the boys one by one. We bid our final goodbyes for the day as the boys all headed off into the direction of the schoolhouse.

"Catch you later, Séraphine!" Éponine called, slowly inching her way away from the group and heading towards the opposite direction.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I asked, under the impression that we would spend the day together.

"I'm really sorry; I forgot to tell you, my father needs me today to, er...help him out with something. But I'll see you tomorrow!"

I nodded. "Yeah, see you then." I had to warrant a small chuckle: Éponine believed I was unaware of her illegal activities. She thought she kept it a well-guarded secret from me that she often partook in thefts and conning with her parents and their crones. Despite my disapproval, I could not bring myself to tell the law enforcement because I wanted so badly for Éponine to stay out of trouble. The last thing she needed was trouble with the law, although I would have loved to have seen her parents, the Thénardiers, receive just that. The difference between Éponine and her family was that Éponine cared. She cared about other people, she cared about more than making money to spend on frivolities. She was doing the exact same thing as her family, but for some reason it was much easier for me to condone her actions.

Well. I had no one else to spend time with, so I figured I would head back to my house and read one of my books. I began walking towards my residence when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I jumped up in shock, turning around and preparing to defend myself. In certain streets, my parents told me before they left, one must watch out for beggars and muggers. To my pleasant surprise, it was neither a beggar nor a mugger. It was just Enjolras.

"Séraphine, hey," he said coolly when I turned around. "Have a moment?"

"Sure," I said lightly. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "Well, actually, I guess that's up to you to decide. I still feel very badly about what I said to you earlier. You were right; I had no right to prejudge you and your life based on what little information I had of you."

I flashed a toothy, comforting smile. "Thank you. But you don't need to apologize again, Enjolras. I already forgave you the first time."

"I'm aware. But I am still disappointed in myself. It is not like me to jump to such conclusions."

"I know it isn't. I can tell. The way you're apologizing right now shows me that it most definitely isn't like you. But it's really okay. I mean, I'm sure I _don't_ look the type of person to have gone through a lot."

Enjolras cocked a brow. "Sorry?"

"Look at my clothes," I gestured at myself. "It wouldn't have been a completely crazy assumption to think I had a perfect life. I appear wealthy. It was a fair thought."

It was then that I noticed we had not stayed still during our conversation. We were walking, I observed, towards my home. I had to inwardly giggle: we had walked a decent distance without having realized it.

"Enjolras," I continued, "don't you have to go to classes with the others?"

"My next class isn't for another forty-five minutes. It is college, after all. We're not all in every single class together."

"How do you all know each other?" I asked as we continued our pace.

For the first time, I saw Enjolras let out a laugh. "You know, that's a good question. I think we just kind of got to know each other along the way. I don't remember, but I'm glad it happened."

"Yeah," I smiled, looking into his gleaming eyes. "I am too. I wouldn't have met you all if it hadn't."

"True enough," he drawled lazily.

A silent moment occurred, so I tried to diffuse it for his sake.

"So," I said, perhaps with more sass than I intended, "do you plan on walking with me until I reach my house?"

Enjolras looked slightly affronted. Noticing this, I quickly stammered, "Oh, dear! I'm so sorry! That came out wrong, so very wrong...I just meant, was I keeping you from something? I meant that you don't _have_ to walk with me if you're busy, and--"

To my relief, he laughed. "Séraphine, relax. You're a pretty wound-up person, aren't you?"

I blushed. "I guess you could say I'm excitable."

"Try to relax, okay?" he said. "It'll probably do you some good."

"Yeah," I sighed as we resumed our walk. "It sure would."

"You sound like it's something you've had trouble with in the past."

"I mean, I suppose," I said. "It's hard for me not to fixate on things. I've been trying to teach myself to let things go that don't matter."

"Like what?" he asked as I widened my eyes at his sudden inquiry.

"Um, nothing," I hurriedly spoke. "Just in general. You know?"

Skeptically, he said, "If you say so."

"But thank you for asking."

"Sure."

Despite his ability to intimidate and overwhelm, Enjolras was truly a good person. He had a solid head on his shoulders, he was polite and mature, and most importantly he was easy to talk to. As a decently extroverted person, it bothers me tremendously when people are unable to keep conversations. I liked Enjolras because he responded to my statements and offered statements of his own in response. He was a good conversationalist and a good listener, two facts I had gathered simply from spending an afternoon in his company. I hoped that Enjolras would be in my life more frequently after today.

"So, tomorrow?" I said impulsively. "Would it be all right with you all if Éponine and I joined you tomorrow for lunch again? I just really had a lovely time today."

"Absolutely," he said. "You should come with us to the park afterwards. We like to go for walks there sometimes when none of us have class. It'd be nice to have some fresh faces with us."

"Sure!" I said, giddily. "Actually, wait a moment. I may have to catch up with you all later on in the day. I have work tomorrow."

"What do you work as?"

"I tend to people's houses and children while they're going out for lunch, at work, whenever someone needs me. I usually just spend time with their children but sometimes I have to sew repairs and cook. It's usually not too bad."

"That sounds like it could be nice."

"Especially since I live alone. The company is welc--"

"You live alone?" he asked, eyes bulging. "You don't live with your parents?"

Flushing slightly at my confession, I said, "Oh...well, no. I don't. My parents live in a separate house from me."

"Do they, now? Why?"

"Yeah. It's something I'd rather not talk about at the moment, if that's okay with you. Another day I'll tell you, maybe."

"Of course. I'm very sorry to have pressed."

"Don't be! I would have done the same thing," I assured him. "But tell me more about you."

"Well, I'm Enjolras," he began.

"Wow! Such new, enlightening information!" I teased.

He chuckled. I could see him start to give a playful punch on my shoulder. He stopped himself, likely in fear that he would be crossing a boundary of some sort. Then he resumed, "There isn't a whole lot to say about me. I come from a wealthy background, indeed. But I prefer to surround myself with humbler company."

I suddenly felt personally attacked as I looked down at the flowing red garment I was wearing.

He continued, "But I don't really care about the wealth. I just care about my country, doing the right thing, and maintaining my friendships."

"That's a pretty focused life. What do you do for fun?"

He seemed to scoff. "I like to read and be with my friends, of course, but fun is certainly not one of my top priorities."

"Well, Enjolras, you have to prioritize fun to some extent. If you don't let yourself unwind frequently enough you might crack."

"I just believe that everyone has a purpose in life. Something that keeps them going, if you will. Mine is doing what I believe needs to be done to achieve success and justice. Some people find that their sole goal is to have as much fun as possible, which I do not believe in."

"It's not quite so black and white, though," I offered gently. "You can have fun without it being your only goal."

Enjolras smirked down at me. "As I said, everyone has a purpose. I was not destined to have fun. I was put here to do something great and help people out."

"That doesn't sound very exciting," I frowned.

"Well, what do _you_ consider your purpose in life?" he asked.

"I don't know, to be honest. I'm nineteen years old. I haven't seen very much of the world. I have no idea in the slightest what I want or, as you put it, what 'keeps me going.' To be honest, I'm surprised someone can be so sure of what they're supposed to do in life, especially at our age."

"You raise a fair point, Séraphine. But there is surely _something_ you are passionate about."

I noticed that we were at my front door. "Probably, but I'll have to get back to you at a later date. We're already at my house."

"This is your home? And you have this all to yourself?" he asked.

"I do!" I exclaimed. "It's not all that big, though."

"No, but for someone who's living alone it certainly is."

"I suppose so," I agreed.

"Okay, well. I guess I'll let you go," Enjolras said as he started to turn away. "But show up tomorrow at the park after work, okay? We'll all be there. We'll continue this conversation then."

I smiled. Enjolras truly was a personable, charismatic man. I found myself disappointed that he was leaving and almost asked him if he wanted to stay for awhile. I could not keep him for too long, though, and in the end I decided it best to say goodbye for the day. I was remarkably eager for the next day to come so I could see him and the rest of the boys again.

"We sure will," I responded. "It was -- it was really nice to meet you, Enjolras."

He shook my hand and gave me a small grin. "Likewise. So I'll catch you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely."

I closed the door behind me as I gave him one last wave, feeling extremely positive about becoming closer with Enjolras.


	4. she will not be betrayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "she will not die in vain  
> she will not be betrayed"
> 
> -a little fall of rain/night of anguish

SÉRAPHINE POV

I spent the rest of the day reading my book in peace. Despite my deep love for socializing, I sometimes feel the need to reflect upon my day, to introspect and ponder in my own head. It was easy and difficult to concentrate on my reading, all at once: easy because I find it easier to concentrate when I am at peace of mind, as I was as a result of making successful friendships; difficult because part of me was focusing on the next day's meeting with the boys and Éponine. Even so, I had almost gotten through the entire novel by the time I felt sleepy. I placed the book down at a very early hour -- six thirty in the evening -- and dozed off for the night.

The next morning, I awoke with the sun as I always did. This was fortunate, because that morning I had work whereas the previous morning I was only meeting Éponine in the square. I ensured that I would not be late for the day's duties by washing up immediately after I woke up. Then, I put on a light green frock, similar in style to the red one I had worn the previous day. I put on the same shoes as I had worn the day before and began heading out to work.

Even before I arrived at work, I found myself eager for it to end so I could go to the park with Enjolras, Éponine, and the others. I particularly needed a nice distraction, because the people I would be working for were never my favorite clients. The man of the house (and the father of the child I would be babysitting) gave me an uneasy feeling. His name was Gilles Lavoie, and I did not very much like him. I found his actions and intentions sneaky. Thankfully, I never had to spend much time with him, save for before he left the house and after he returned. There was a silver lining to the situation, though: his five-year-old son, Thierry, was a delight. I wondered how a shady man could have such a sweet and adorable child.

Once I arrived at the Lavoie residence, I left three staccato knocks in succession at the door. No more than a few seconds later, Gilles opened the door, almost as if he had been waiting for me. Of course he was expecting me, but it was almost creepy how quickly he opened the door.

"Miss Beaulieu! How are you, my dear? Come in, come in," he said, grabbing me by my shoulders and leading me into the house. "My Thierry is thrilled to see you."

As if on cue, Thierry came rushing in, hugging me by my legs and yelling my name.

"See, he's enthralled," Gilles remarked, his hands still touching my shoulders. "Well, I have a lunch date, Miss Beaulieu. A dear friend of mine is back in town. I should get going out, now. Goodbye, lovely."

I shuddered slightly at the adjective he had used to describe me. "Um, yes. Goodbye, sir. I'll take good care of Thierry."

"You always do," he winked. "He raves about you, darling. You should know that. You'll be a splendid mother one day."

I cringed again, feeling again a sense of uneasiness that was typical for any encounters I had with Monsieur Lavoie. He had always been a figure of mystery to me, someone I had never felt comfortable around. I only stayed working for him, in fact, because of the money and because of how dearly I liked Thierry.

"Thank you, sir. Have a lovely lunch," I said, trying to subconsciously persuade him to leave. My good fortune was evident as he nodded at me and opened the door, letting himself out of the house and into the world around us.

"Miss Séraphine! Miss Séraphine! I've missed you!" Thierry cheered, letting go of my legs and jumping up and down.

I chuckled, rustling the child's hair and picking him up. Thierry always made me smile and laugh; his childish innocence and utter trust in everything around him was something I missed. As one grows older, he loses the curiosity and purity that comes with being of young age. I dreaded the day Thierry grew up and lost the brilliant light that he radiated: in a country of omnipresent chaos and political corruption, Thierry seemed to me the only real, genuine good in France. He was the one thing I thought of or looked to in times of desperation. He reminded me of my younger brother, Verdun, who lived with my parents up north.

"What would you like to do, Thierry?"

"I want to play a fantasy game!" he cheered, still jumping up and down.

"A fantasy game!" I repeated emphatically. Thierry referred to any game in which we would take on different characters as "fantasy games." "Well, who shall we be today? A prince and his princess? Two animal friends in the woods?"

"I want to be the sun! And you can be the moon!"

I chuckled. "I'm sorry, Thierry; I don't think I quite understand. What do the sun and the moon do?"

"It's a story my dad told me! It's a beautiful story he made up!"

I raised my eyebrows, feeling skeptical about whatever story Gilles Lavoie would come up with. "Let's hear the story, dear."

"Well," Thierry began, "you know how the sun is up in the day and the moon is up in the night? My daddy made up a story where the sun wakes up the moon when the day is over, and that way the sun can go to sleep and the moon can watch over the world. When the night ends, the moon wakes up the sun and the sun watches over the world because it's daytime. And they really love each other but they only see each other twice a day, once when the moon wakes up the sun and once when the sun wakes up the moon. And they spend all day waiting for those two times to happen. And it's a really beautiful love story!"

I grinned, amazed at this child's intelligence. He had to be extremely bright to be able to comprehend such a deep story, and even brighter to be able to see the beauty in it. I found myself surprised, however, at Gilles's thoughtfulness. I never would have imagined him to be such a romantic storyteller. It contradicted with my experiences and notions of the man.

"That sounds beautiful, little Thierry. I guess now I'll go to sleep, then? And you, the big beautiful yellow sun, can wake me up!"

"Yeah! I wanna wake you up!"

"Okay," I agreed, lying on the couch in the Lavoie family living room. "Goodnight, dear sun!"

"Goodnight, moon!"

With that, I closed my eyes. I pondered about how I may have misjudged Gilles Lavoie; a father who told such adorable and wondrous stories about love to his son could not have been that bad. Possibly his touchiness and over-friendliness were just that: friendliness. I initially thought he was overly flirtatious, in his own way. But my instincts could have been wrong. He certainly raised a wonderful son, even if only that.

"Oh, great moon!" Thierry called after a few moments of silence. "It is nighttime! You must awake, and I will take your place sleeping. Have fun watching over the world!"

I laughed, playing with Thierry's hair. "Thank you so much for waking me up, my beautiful sun! Have a lovely slumber, dear."

"Thank you!" he cheered. "Enjoy your shift."

I giggled loudly. He must have heard the term "shift" from his father, possibly referring to me and the shifts I would take working for him. Either way, the way he spoke and the words he used were charming. As he did, I waited a few minutes before I called for him to wake up. Turning around to ask him to "begin his shift," I noticed that he seemed to genuinely be sleeping.

"Thierry?" I asked, just to check.

There was no response. I saw his chest move up and down, evenly with the smooth drawls of his breaths. He was such a doll, I thought. I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and placed a nearby blanket over his tiny body. I hoped one day to have a son exactly like Thierry: playful, endearing, and intelligent.

I peered at the clock: it would still be another hour and a half or so before Gilles would arrive back from his lunch. _What would I do with the extra time now that Thierry was asleep_? I thought to myself. There were books all about the house, including a few that I had wanted but never had the chance to purchase. I decided that I would begin reading it on the couch next to Thierry, and then I would ask Gilles if I could borrow the book. _The Divine Comedy_ , the work was called, by a man named Dante Alighieri. Having never read it before, I ravenously dove into the book like a small bird diving into the crumbs of a cake on the concrete.

The book had captured my attention and left me so immersed that I jumped in shock when I saw Gilles come into the house through the front door where he had left.

"Monsieur Lavoie!" I greeted, gently placing the book down on the couch. "How was your lunch, sir?"

"Wonderful, dear Séraphine; thank you for asking. How is my Thierry?"

"Asleep like, well, a baby," I answered. "We played an adorable game in which we portrayed the sun and the moon. It was based on a gorgeous story you have apparently told him."

"Oh, yes," Gilles grinned. "The story of the sun and the moon, waking each other up to watch over their earth. One of my better stories, I like to think."

"It was delightful," I commented, walking away from him momentarily in order to pick up the book. "Pardon, but do you very much mind if I borrow _The Divine Comedy_? I was reading it and I'm really enjo--"

"Excuse me?" Gilles suddenly snapped, bitterness evident in his tone. "Do you mean to tell me that you were reading one of my books?"

I instantly felt that there was something very wrong with the situation. He did not seem pleased, and I wondered what I could have possibly done to anger him. "I'm sorry, sir; I was only trying to entertain myself while your son was sleeping--"

"You are _never_ to so much as _look_ at my bookshelf, Miss Beaulieu. Are we perfectly clear?"

There was no way for me to hide how insulted I had felt. "Monsieur Lavoie, I would like to know why I may not read the books from your shelves. I am not harming anyone by doing so."

The man's face turned a shade of bright red and I noticed a vein in his muscle begin to twitch. "Women such as yourself, Miss Beaulieu, are not suited for reading." His voice seemed more and more aggravated as he continued. "Reading and other intellectual pursuits are left to the man, as I'm sure you know. Or do you just choose to ignore the established conventions? You are suited for few things: housework, caring for children, and delivering sexual pleasure to men."

"What did you just say to me?" I challenged, heat rising into my cheeks. "I am not an object for a man to play with. Are you really so ignorant as to belie--"

Gilles Lavoie silenced me with a swift slap to the face.

"You," he spoke venomously, "may not call me ignorant. You have no right to say that, you little bitch. Sluts like you need to be put in your place."

I felt very uncomfortable at the moment, violated and uneasy. Before I or he could say another word, I darted out of the house, caressing my cheek and huffing so as to prevent myself from screaming.

"Be here again in three days to watch Thierry again," he called ferociously.

I could not believe he had the gall to keep talking to me. I certainly did not have the gall to turn around and look him in the eye again after he had just insulted me and physically hit me! Once again grabbing my cheek where he had stricken me, I quickened my pace towards the park with the others and contemplated my change in opinion. How foolish was I! To think that all of Gilles's flirtations, all the times I had felt unsettled around him, could be condoned solely because of a sweet story he had told his son. I mentally berated myself for trying to see the good in him when, in reality, very little actually existed.

Quickly, I reached the park where the others were. I was definitely in a rush to get there so I could gain some laughs and enjoyment after a rough afternoon.

Éponine was the first to notice my arrival. "Séraphine!" she cheered, racing over and hugging me. "Great to see you!"

"And you!" I smiled, hugging her back. After I broke free from her, I walked over to where the guys were and greeted them as well.

"How was your work today?" Lesgle asked. "Enjolras told us you'd be coming late because of your job."

"Oh," I said, trying to stall in order to avoid talking about my bad day. "It was...it was good! Thanks for asking."

"What do you do, anyway?" Bahorel asked me.

"I babysit, for the most part. Today I babysat a lovely little boy named Thierry Lavoie. He's an angel."

"Great!"

Unfortunately, I could not avoid conversation about the incident with Gilles for a very long time. I had not been at the park five minutes when Enjolras approached me and blatantly eyed the red slap mark on my face. He was so observant, so good at picking up the little details the others would miss. I should have known someone would ask me about the mark! Why did I not take measures to cover it up?

"Séraphine, why do you have a slap mark on your cheek?" Enjolras asked me.

"Oh! Um, it's nothing. Really," I spoke hurriedly, trying to assure him.

"Hey, yeah! She does have a slap mark on her face!" Prouvaire commented. I sighed, knowing my mark would be the topic of conversation within seconds.

"You can tell us," Enjolras said earnestly, a hint of protectiveness seeping in his tone. "Did someone hurt you?"

I knew I had no choice but to tell them what had happened.

"Yeah, actually. It was the father of the child I babysat."

"Who the hell does he think he is, slapping a girl?!" Grantaire bellowed.

"It was a disagreement. I called him ignorant because he told me I shouldn't be reading books, and then he hit me."

"Why don't you file charges? You know that Inspector Javert guy will have him tried," Joly offered.

"I'm not sure what to do. It's not a big deal," I tried to shrug it off and make it so they would not worry about me.

"Come here," Enjolras suddenly said to me, pulling me aside. "Séraphine, why are you so calm about this?"

"I just don't think it's that important. I'll figure out a way to handle it; I always do."

"You always do? What does that mean?"

"Nothing, nothing." I felt as if I had said too much. "The next time I go to babysit his son, I'll figure something out on the spot. I usually work best on improvisation."

"You're going back? Why would you do that?" Enjolras asked me, the rest of the group gabbing loudly and enjoying the company of the others.

"Thierry is an absolute darling, plus it's always nice to have some extra money."

"You shouldn't go back there," he repeated.

"I don't want to let Monsieur Lavoie win," I responded, half to myself.

I expected Enjolras to respond with a quick retort as to why I should not place myself in that position again. I waited for him to bite back and tell me I should not risk myself again. But he did not, which surprised me. What surprised me even more, however, was the sly smirk I saw growing on his face.

"When's the next time you have to go to this Lavoie residence?" he asked, maintaining that sneaky grin.

"Friday at noon," I replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm gonna come with you," he grinned. "I'll skip lunch and--"

"Don't skip lunch, Enjolras. You don't have to do that."

"Stop it. If you're free afterwards, we can eat then. But I want to come with you to watch this kid, if that's okay."

"I'm sure Thierry would love to have the company, but Monsieur Lavoie probably wouldn't let you--"

"He doesn't have to let me in," Enjolras read my mind, seeming more and more serious about coming with me on Friday. "I'll come knock on the door after he leaves the house. You can let me in."

"Enjolras, why do you want to come so badly?" I finally asked.

"Because I want to help you teach this guy a lesson," he responded. "And also because it sounds like it might be fun. Someone once told me I should try to have more fun."


	5. there is a life about to start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "when the beating of your heart  
> echoes the beating of the drums  
> there is a life about to start  
> when tomorrow comes"
> 
> -do you hear the people sing?

SÉRAPHINE POV

Friday, the day Enjolras would be accompanying me to the Lavoie residence, came rather quickly. The days between his promise to come with me and Friday itself consisted of a few outings with the gentlemen again. On Wednesday and Thursday, Éponine and I continued our afternoon meals with them, followed by a visit to the park on Wednesday afternoon. By the time Friday came, I found myself eager to see what Enjolras was scheming. Rising from my bed with the sunlight on that morning, I felt my heart tremor in excitement with the knowledge that I would be spending the day with Enjolras; unbeknownst to the others, all of whom I cherished deeply, Enjolras had quickly become my favorite of them all. This day would be very eventful -- I could sense that much as soon as I woke up.

I got myself ready for the day and picked up a pastry tart to give to Enjolras. Then I began my steady stroll over to the restaurant at which we had eaten throughout the week, the meeting place as he designated. I was only waiting for about two minutes when I saw Enjolras pacing towards me: his confident stride and mass of bright locks were impossible to miss in any setting.

"Hi, Enjolras," I greeted sweetly, extending the hand with the pastry tart towards him. "I figured you'd be hungry since we're not eating until later, so I brought you this."

"You didn't have to do that," he told me as he nonetheless took a bite of the tart. "Oh, wow. This is great."

"They're good, aren't they? So," I pressed, wanting to get straight to business, "what's going on for today?"

"Well, you know I want to do justice against this Monsieur Lavoie you mentioned. He sounds like a pretty rotten person. Why don't you lead me towards the house and we'll take it from there?"

"Sure," I replied eagerly as I began my practically instinctive walk towards the Lavoie residence. "This sounds like it'll be fun!"

Enjolras grinned and looked down at me. "I think we'll have a nice time."

"Me too. Say, Enjolras, you're not about to go in there and do something that'll get you hurt, are you?"

"Dear, me. No. I'm not stupid enough to do that. In fact, although I hate to brag, I am very intelligent. Had you not noticed?"

A few days ago I would have responded apologetically, but by this time I had spent enough time with him to recognize his teasing side. I retorted playfully, "I guess you've disguised it well."

"Ouch," he joked. "Your words hurt, Séraphine."

"I think you'll get over it."

Enjolras was so easy to joke with! He had a sense of humor that was very easy to adapt to, the kind that let me know that he was comfortable with teasing and jokingly picking on friends. It made me feel as though it were okay to tease him in a similar fashion, and based on his responses he felt it okay to do the same to me. Good friends are those who are comfortable enough to poke lighthearted fun at themselves and at one another. For that, I began to see Enjolras as someone I could grow very close to.

After a few more witty comments made by each of us (as well as a few laughs), we reached the Lavoie residence. My heart began to pump more quickly as I realized the immediate reality: I would have to face my attacker in a few short moments. Despite my nervousness, I knew nothing truly bad could happen to me because I had my friend Enjolras at my side. I looked towards him as we walked up the sidewalk and asked him what the plan was.

"You see those bushes over on the side of the house?" he indicated.

I nodded. "What about them?"

"You go and knock on the door. I'll wait back here in the bushes where he won't see me, and I'll listen to what he says. You watch him leave through the window, and when he's gone you can let me inside. Sound good?"

"Okay!" I agreed eagerly.

Taking one final deep breath, I watched as Enjolras headed towards the bushes. Then I approached the door with mild caution, raising my hand to knock it. Before I could even raise my hand to the wooden door, though, it opened. To my surprise and relief, it was not Gilles who had answered the door, but Thierry.

"Séraphine!" he greeted cheerily. "I saw you walking with another person; who was that boy you were wi--"

Quickly, I raised one pointer finger to my lips and another to his. "Sh, Thierry. Okay? It's, um...it's gonna be a surprise. Don't be too loud, okay?"

"Okay!" Thierry agreed unquestioningly. "I'll go tell my daddy you're here and he can go now."

As I watched the child run upstairs to get his father, I walked over to one of the windows. I peered through the blinds and looked around for Enjolras, sitting in the bushes. He appeared to meet my gaze and smiled, pointing to himself and then the house. I knew he was silently asking me if he could come in yet, so I shook my head and closed the blinds. As I did so, I saw Thierry and Gilles Lavoie come downstairs together, Thierry grasping his father's finger.

"Miss Beaulieu," Gilles greeted, speaking as if nothing had happened during our last encounter. "It's wonderful to see you again."

"Yes," I agreed, feigning excitement. "It always is wonderful to see little Thierry."

He noticed my subtle jab at him, I could tell. He narrowed his eyes and opened the door, beginning to walk out. Before he stepped onto the stones leading away from his house, he turned towards me and grinned suggestively.

"I do hope you've learned your lesson, dear," he said, referring to the last time I had made him angry a few days ago. "We wouldn't want something worse to happen to you the next time you do not respect my house and my rules."

I had no clue in the slightest how to respond to his statement. Offense grabbed me and shook me to the point where I almost yelled at him again, but I knew I needed to put up an air of obedience. So, all I could say was, "Of course, Monsieur."

"That's a good girl," he said as he grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle kiss. "I will be back in three hours or so, Séraphine. I have business to attend to after my lunch."

"Of course," I acknowledged.

"Wonderful, wonderful. Goodbye, love."

With that last farewell, he closed the door behind him and began to walk away from the house. For a moment I worried that he would notice Enjolras hiding in the bushes, but I quickly shook the notion out of my head. Enjolras was smart and crafty enough not to let Gilles see him. It was not until Gilles was far out of sight that I heard a knock on the door. Rising to answer it, I smiled at how successful Enjolras's plan had been. Never doubt him or his ideas, I was beginning to learn, because he would never disappoint.

"Hey," I greeted as I opened the door and let him in. "How was your stay in the bushes?"

Enjolras did not answer my question but instead began to speak of the situation. "God, how do you deal with that man every time you watch his kid, Séraphine? Even I was ready to knock him out when he started telling you about how worse could happen to you the next time you "don't follow his rules." You really should consider finding new houses to tend to and more children to babysit. You could get hurt."

"It'll be okay," I commented flippantly. "I can handle it."

"I'm sure you can, but--"

I did not want to get into such a conversation. It would remind me too much of the incident that had happened before, the incident that led my parents to be separated from me. Every time the subject of resilience came up, I began to feel nervous, almost as if everyone in the world knew what had happened to me those many years ago. Of course, Enjolras had no way of knowing. But I could not help the feeling inside me that I was exposed and naked in regards to what had transpired.

"How about you meet Thierry?" I changed the subject. "Come over here and meet my friend, Thierry!"

Thierry rushed in jubilantly. "That's him! That's the surprise person you were walking with!"

"Yes," I chuckled. "This is my friend, Enjolras."

"Hi, Ennuljas!" he attempted, prompting me and Enjolras to chuckle tenderly at his failure. "I'm Thierry! It makes me happy to meet you!"

"It's good to meet you, Thierry." Enjolras grinned. I could tell he was taking a liking to him already.

"So, Thierry," I initiated after a slight pause, "would you like to teach Enjolras one of the games we play?"

"Oh! I want to teach him a fantasy game!" Thierry bellowed. "Can we play the sun and the moon game again?"

Enjolras looked at me, a mix of skepticism and humor mixed in his blue eyes. "The sun and the moon game?"

I sighed. "It's a game where the sun and the moon "take shifts" looking over the world, so the moon wakes up the sun at nighttime and the sun wakes up the moon during the day. It's only twice a day they get to see each other, and they look forward to it all day because they love each other. We've only played once and I was the moon, and Thierry was the sun...hey, Thierry, there are three of us but only two characters. How will we play this game?"

"You're so silly, Séraphine!" Thierry yelled as if it were the most obvious thing in the world what we would do. "You and Ennuljas are going to be the moon and sun! And then you will wake each other up!"

"What will you do?" I asked, feeling my face flush at the thought of pretending to be in love with Enjolras.

"I'm gonna be the guy who tells you when it's time to wake each other up."

"Of course," Enjolras commented, sarcastically but warmly. "What else could he have been, Séraphine?"

"Oh. Shush, you," I joked.

"Stop all the talking!" Thierry screamed. "Séraphine, you're the moon. You lay on the couch and Ennuljas, the sun, is gonna wake you up when I tell him to."

I sneaked a glanced at Enjolras and raised my eyebrows. In mock seduction, I said, "Goodnight, sun."

Enjolras snorted. "Night, moon."

I lay on the couch and listened to Thierry and Enjolras, who had begun to engage in conversation by that point. Thierry was trying fruitlessly to whisper to Enjolras, but it came out too loudly because of how loud Thierry was in general.

"Okay, Ennuljas. I want you to wake her up with a kiss on her lips."

I opened my eyes at this new development, sitting up and taking a deep breath. "Whoa, Thierry. Enjolras and I don't need to kiss. I didn't know kissing was a part of this game."

"Well, of course I'm not gonna kiss you when we play, Séraphine. You're super old! But so is Ennuljas, so he can kiss you! That's how my daddy tells the story -- they kiss to wake each other up."

"Hey, hey," Enjolras backed up. I swore I saw a tint of red on his cheeks. "This isn't necessary, Thierry. Okay? I'll just tell her to wake up, or something."

"How come you can't kiss her?" Thierry asked, making no efforts to hide his disappointment.

"People who are boyfriends and girlfriends kiss," I tried to explain. "Enjolras is just my friend."

"Well, can you be boyfriends and girlfriends for a few minutes?"

For the first time since the idea of the kiss was mentioned, Enjolras and I made eye contact. We chuckled at the child's naivety but nonetheless shook our heads no.

"How about we kiss each other on the foreheads?" I suggested. "If that's okay with "Ennuljas" over here."

"Ha, ha," Enjolras faked laughter at the way I deliberately pronounced his name. "Very funny, Moon. Shouldn't you be asleep, anyway?"

"Well, I'm sorry. Maybe if the Sun would let me sleep in peace then I'd be able to."

Enjolras chuckled once, turned to Thierry, and said, "So, Thierry, is it okay if we just kiss on the forehead? I promise it's just as, er, loving."

"Fine," Thierry pouted. "But it's not as good as a lip kiss."

"Sorry about that," I commented one last time before I resumed my place on the couch, extending my legs out so I was laying down and awaiting peacefully for Enjolras, my "sun."

"Wake her up now!" Thierry said, his eagerness evident by how quickly it took for him to get Enjolras to awake me.

"Oh, my beautiful moon!" Enjolras called in his best regal-and-rich voice, "arise from your slumber and grant me this one kiss!"

Then, Enjolras placed his lips atop my forehead. I was doing a poor job hiding my laughter at Enjolras's tone of voice, but I nonetheless pulled myself up when I felt his kiss on my head.

"Thank you, lovely sun!" I responded as I let him take my place on the couch. "Until we meet next."

"Twelve more lonely, solitary hours without my dearest," Enjolras sighed dramatically.

"How horrible it is to see you so infrequently!" I continued.

"This is so beautfiul!" Thierry interrupted our dialogue, jumping up and down. "You two are a great sun and moon!"

"Please, Thierry, I must sleep in peace so I may wake up and see my moon," Enjolras said.

"Okay, Ennuljas!" Thierry responded. I could not contain my laughter at how much fun I was having with the two boys, both so very childlike at heart but one having so much more experience than the other, experience I could tell had hardened him as the years went on. It was sad: Enjolras was having so much fun and letting himself relax, but he always seemed so pensive and scheming whenever we were all in a group setting. It warmed my heart to know that he felt comfortable enough around me to unwind.

It was my turn to wake him up, so I waited for Thierry's signal and walked over to him. "Don't forget the kiss," Thierry reminded, and I could see Enjolras chuckling from the couch.

"My love! My sun! Stir yourself awake, my dear! It is now time for my rest!" I kissed his forehead and drew myself away as I watched him perch himself up.

"Thank you, my lovely moon," he said solemnly. "Thank you, thank you."

We both turned to Thierry to see if he was satisfied. Would he want us to do another round of the game? What would happen next?

"That was so great!" he blurted once again. "I really love playing with your friend Ennuljas, Séraphine. He's so much fun, like you!"

I chortled and ruffled his hair. "Thank you, honey. Now, are you hungry? Maybe I can prepare you something for lunch?"

"I would like that!" he cheered.

With that, I went into the house's kitchen and watched as Thierry and Enjolras played together. It made my heart nearly burst with joy as I saw two of my favorite boys playing so nicely and enjoying each other's company so much.

I emerged a few moments later, sandwich in hand and a smile on my face. "Here, Thierry."

"Thanks, Miss Séraphine! Hey, when you were in the kitchen I looked out the window. My daddy is walking back!"

"What?!"

Enjolras and I exchanged a quick, shocked look. I specifically recalled Gilles saying that he would be back after three hours, and it had only been about twenty or thirty minutes.

"I bet Daddy will be so happy to meet Ennuljas! He's really gonna like him becau-"

Stepping over Thierry's words, Enjolras interjected, "It's okay. He was going to see me in here anyway when he got home."

"Do you know what to say?" I asked.

"Of course," Enjolras smirked. "I always have a plan."

As if it were scripted, Gilles came inside. He did not get further than a "Hello, Séraphine!" before he saw Enjolras, standing right next to me with Thierry hugging his leg and refusing to let go.

Gilles turned redder than I had ever seen him before. "Who is this?" he spat at me.

I heaved a heavy sigh and responded, "Monsieur Lavoie, this is my friend Enjolras."

"Thierry. Go upstairs."

Thierry reluctantly obeyed his father's harsh words and freed himself from Enjolras's leg, running upstairs and saying goodbye to us.

"Séraphine. Did I not tell you when I first hired you to watch my child that you were not to bring males into my house with you?"

I gulped. "You did, sir."

"Please tell me, then," he growled, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him, "why you have done so."

Gilles's breath reeked of brandy and I tried my hardest to free myself from his grasp, but he was too strong. "Let go of me!"

Fortunately, he did, but it was more of a throw than a gentle loosening of his grip. I stumbled back; Enjolras caught me by the arms and steadied me, then turned to Gilles.

"My name, because you seem quite so curious, is Enjolras," he began. "I am a friend of Séraphine's. Tell me, sir, why are you forbidding my friend from bringing males into this house? You imply that she may bring female friends with her when she comes to babysit your Thierry. Why am I any different?"

"Why, you ask?" he huffed, turning away from Enjolras to look at me. "Because Miss Beaulieu here, your friend that you speak so fondly of, is a little harlot."

I flushed, fury racing through my veins. "What the hell did you just call me?!"

"All you females are the same. Harlots, every one of you! I know you'd just fuck any guy you'd end up bringing here, girl. But you, you try to pretend you're so good and sweet. You always resist my advances, lovely, and you put on that innocent smile to hide the fact that you're a dirty whore just like every other girl there is. You-"

As quickly as Gilles had started speaking, he stopped. His words were cut off by a sharp intake of breath, and I was in awe to see the reason. Enjolras had punched Gilles in the stomach.

"You," Enjolras menacingly snarled, "are scum. How dare you have to gall to generalize every female in the world? How dare you make unwanted advances towards Séraphine when all she wants is to take care of your son? How dare you make her feel uncomfortable in that way? And how dare you speak of her like that!"

Gilles tried to get up from the ground and attack Enjolras back but to no avail. Enjolras gripped him by the wrists and pushed him against the wall.

"Séraphine told me not to come here with her. She said you wouldn't allow it. But I came here to help her defend herself against you. I wanted to tell you that you can't hit a young woman the way you did. By coming here, I wanted to give you a taste of the discomfort you've made Séraphine feel. But doing that would have been far too kind for someone like you, someone who thinks a person as good as Séraphine is so deplorable. You are dirt, sir. You are the dirt beneath the ground she walks on. And the next time you think it's the other way around, I'll know. You got that?"

Enjolras did not even give Gilles time to respond. He grabbed my wrist and said, "Let's get out of here."

I was all too eager to oblige. I took one last look at Gilles, still trying to compose himself, and slammed the door shut behind me. Pondering how brave Enjolras had been, I glanced up at his shining eyes for a few moments as we sped away from the house. 

"That was so cool!" I cheered as we turned the corner, now many feet away from the Lavoie residence. "Thank you, Enjolras!"

Much to my surprise (as I thought Enjolras would share in my adrenaline-rushed exuberance), he seemed distant, faraway.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I pressed. "That was awesome. I'm really grateful for what you did back there."

"I acknowledge that," he said, peering down at my shorter self. "It is just not like me to do such a thing so impulsively."

"Sorry?"

"I'm not used to acting on a whim," he clarified. "Back there, I felt like I didn't have control of what I was doing. I never do anything without having thought it out in advance."

"That's okay," I said to him. "Enjolras, it's not bad to do things impulsively. It's good to be spontaneous once in awhile."

"I suppose so, but I just attacked a man."

"Who very well deserved it," I reminded. "Maybe now he'll stop messing with me."

"I suppose so," he spoke, appearing to shake off whatever discomfort he had felt and continuing to walk next to me.

I had the feeling he was very unsettled by what had transpired a few moments earlier. However, he turned towards me afterwards and asked me if I would still like to have lunch with him, visibly attempting to shake all discomfort away. I made a mental note to ask Éponine if there was a problem: like many times before, Enjolras seemed to disappear into his own head in distress. Not wanting to bother him tremendously, I once more asked if he was okay and, upon his nod, agreed to accompany him to the restaurant we had all been frequenting.

When we arrived there, as it was a short distance away from Gilles and Thierry's house, the waiter Donatien recognized us and smiled. He then led us to a table for two nestled towards the back of the restaurant. Thankfully, due to some forced conversation on my part, Enjolras seemed to calm down at least a bit by the time we sat down.

"So, tomorrow is Saturday. What do you guys do for fun on Saturdays?" I offered.

"Oh. Nothing quite so fun, most of time," he explained. "We often do a lot of work on the weekends."

"Do you? Well, that's unfortunate. I was going to ask you all over for dinner tomorrow night. I'm quite the cook, if I do say so myself."

"I've no doubt," he chuckled, "but I'm afraid that, as far as I'm aware, we are busy tomorrow."

"Ah," I sighed, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice but blatantly failing. "Well, that's okay. I hope you all get done what you need to get done."

"Thank you," he said, immediately staring back at his food.

The two of us did not speak for a few moments after that. I was a bit surprised: since he had asked me if I would go for lunch with him the day before, I thought he perhaps seemed interested in becoming closer friends. We had been spending a lot of time together as of late, and I thought that he was interested in being closer with me. His apparent boredom, though, seemed to indicate a different story. But he still offered to help me defend myself against someone that had wronged me! That had to have meant something, had it not?

"Why were you so insistent on helping me today?" I suddenly burst out.

Enjolras dropped his utensils and looked me square in the eye. "Because it seemed to be the right thing to do," he said, with so much certainty in his voice that I wondered for a moment if he was faking some of his sincerity. Was there more to it?

"Is that it?" I asked. "You really went out of your way to help me. And it was something I probably could have done on my own."

"It was the right thing to do, Séraphine. That's it. No hidden motives," he said, a slight joking tone creeping into his voice.

"Okay," I accepted, smiling a bit. "If you say so."

Before I knew it, I felt my heart sink a bit. The feeling was almost like that of disappointment or rejection, something one feels when he has experienced high expectations that had failed to be seen through. What was wrong, I wondered to myself? I was having a very nice time with Enjolras; we were having fun and holding nice conversations. There was no mistaking the strange feeling in my chest, though. What had happened in such a short amount of time that made me feel disheartened?

I thought back to what had happened immediately before this sensation in my breast. It was simply Enjolras, telling me that he was doing something nice out of the goodness of his heart. "No hidden motives," he stated plainly. Nothing more than being a good friend.

It occurred to me that I had been expecting a bit more. It all lined up, and I admitted to myself that I may have wanted Enjolras to show more interest in me as a person, instead of doing the "polite" thing and helping me, inviting me for lunch, the like. He had definitely shown signs of wanting to be my friend, though. So why was I still unsatisfied?

I took another look up at Enjolras, who was currently engaging in conversation with me about the state of France. I listened half-heartedly, genuinely agreeing with his sentiments but nodding absently. For the moment being, instead of immersing myself entirely in his words, I allowed myself to momentarily slip out of situational awareness. I granted myself permission to not do anything but look. To take in this man's bright blue eyes, his haphazard hair, his aura, radiating off a charm that grabbed all passersby and encouraged them to look his way.

He was a really, remarkably handsome man.

So I realized then what my disappointment, the sinking feeling in my heart, was. Had Enjolras been interested in me as a potential partner, he would have had another motive other than solely to "do the right thing." And I found myself growing romantically attracted to this mysterious man.


	6. i love him but only on my own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i love him  
> i love him  
> i love him  
> but only on my own"
> 
> -on my own

SÉRAPHINE POV

I was admittedly quite surprised with myself for developing feelings for Enjolras so quickly. I had just met him only a few short days prior, and I did not understand why I was enchanted by him so immediately. He very clearly was an alluring and captivating person who drew everyone in; nobody could deny his character and charisma. But developing romantic feelings was different than simply being compelled to his presence. It had been quite some time since I had a crush on anyone, and I met the sensation with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was anxious. I wanted to continue to be Enjolras's friend despite the feelings I felt myself growing for him. However, I was excited -- having crushes certainly makes life fun, I have found.

Either way, I told myself not to fall too deep for him. For the time being, it was just a crush, and I hoped it would not develop into anything stronger. It would be hard to keep him as a companion if I were in love with him and he only viewed me as a friend. I decided not to worry about that yet because I knew that, at the moment, it was not love.

"So you agree with me that France is corrupt under this king's rule and something needs to be done, Séraphine?"

Oh, dear. Enjolras had been telling me his feelings about the government, and I had been silently nodding despite the fact that my head was in a completely different place. I did agree with him that France had become corrupt, but it was simply too hard not to focus on my epiphany -- that I had started to view him as more than a friend. I pushed my new romantic feelings out of my head and put in my two cents.

"I agree. The poor are growing in numbers and the middle class is not doing anything to help them."

"You say this," said Enjolras with a small smirk, "even though you are a member of the middle class."

"As are you," I retorted. "I do my share of helping out the poor. I frequently bake cakes and pastries and distribute them to the less fortunate."

"How kind of you," Enjolras stated earnestly. "The middle class needs more kind people like you."

I felt my cheeks getting hotter and I hoped the blush on my face was not too visible. Lord, why did Enjolras have to be so charming?

"It needs more people like you, too," I replied. "Idealists. Dreamers."

"You strike me as an idealist and a dreamer yourself," he noticed.

"I consider myself so. I've always been a bit too optimistic for my own good."

"That doesn't quite sound like a bad thing," Enjolras stated, half-smiling.

"Sometimes it is," I sighed. "I get my hopes up and my expectations get too high. And then that makes it all the more disappointing when they aren't seen through."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that," he said. Abruptly, he added, "Hey, are you finished with your meal? I apologize for rushing you, but today is Friday and I have to get going to class soon."

"I am," I answered as I began to pull some money from my dress pocket.

"No, don't," Enjolras said, putting his hand over mine and stopping me from reaching for my money. "This one's on me."

"Are you sure?" I asked, perhaps too quickly. He was paying for both of our meals? This seemed like a date to me!

"Yes, of course."

"Wow...well, thank you. That's very kind of you!"

"Don't mention it," he grinned.

I felt like a young, wide-eyed, innocent girl who had just been kissed by a boy for the first time. And why, I wondered to myself? This did not necessarily mean anything. It was possible that Enjolras was just being the kind gentleman that he was, proper to women and extending good manners. I liked to think that he was paying for me because he felt attracted to me too, but I remembered my statement about my expectations being too high all the time. I needed to pull them back and acknowledge the possibility -- the strong possibility -- that he was simply being generous.

Together, we walked out of the restaurant. I smiled warmly at Enjolras as I headed towards the park, wondering if Éponine would be there for me to confide in. He walked in a different direction towards the school, bidding a quick farewell as we walked our separate ways.

There was a bit more flounce in my step than usual because of my day with Enjolras. I contemplated what I should do and tried to let my rational side take over. This proved tricky, because my rational side was much smaller than my emotional side. I decided to talk to Éponine; she had known Enjolras and the other men longer than I had, so she would potentially be able to give me advice.

Once I reached the park, I was surprised to see not only Éponine there, but Marius Pontmercy. The two were talking together and taking turns laughing, and I grinned at the fact that Éponine seemed to be making romantic progress with the person she loved. I almost turned back because I did not want to interrupt their moments, but they both noticed me and called my name, summoning me over.

"Hi, Séraphine!" Éponine greeted. "How was your trip? Did you and Enjolras confront that Gilles Lavoie?"

"We did," I smiled, "although it was mostly him. He was really brave, I have to say. He even punched the guy in the stomach for insulting me, completely impulsively."

Even Marius seemed surprised at this. "He did? That's not like him. He usually plans his actions out more."

"That's what he said, too!" I exclaimed.

"Well, Monsieur Lavoie must have really gotten him angry," Marius observed. "Otherwise he would have had the foresight to not do anything violent, I would think."

"I agree," Éponine stated. "He's very calculated."

"Either way," I said, "it was a nice day. We went out for lunch afterwards. He's very pleasant company."

"You two have gotten rather close as of late, haven't you?" Marius pressed.

I blushed, fearing that Marius would deduce that I was growing feelings for Enjolras, and stammered, "Oh, have we? I guess it's just been situational."

"Indeed," he nodded with a smile. "Hey, I have to get going -- class soon. But it was nice to see you again, Séraphine! And you, Éponine, as always."

Marius and Éponine seemed to exchange a look that lasted just a moment too long. I was nearly certain that there was some sort of romantic chemistry going on between them, no matter how faint, and I smiled for my best friend. She was worthy of only the best, and Marius truly was a wonderful person. I would handle that situation later, though, because first I needed to talk to Éponine about Enjolras.

"Hey, can we find a place to sit down?" I asked.

"Sure!" Éponine agreed, her tone all-knowing. "Something's up, it seems."

"Yes," I said as we neared a small, secluded bench in the park and sat down. "I need to tell you something."

"Go on."

Taking a deep breath, I revealed carefully, "I think I'm developing feelings for Enjolras."

Éponine smirked and heaved a slight sigh. "I had a feeling."

"Really?"

"I did," she noticed. "I'm very good at seeing these things, you know. You get a bit more animated when you're around him, and you're very animated to begin with."

"Do I? Oh, no. I hope it isn't obvious!" I panicked.

"No, I doubt it's obvious to him. Not as long as you act the same when you're alone with him as you do when you're with all of us. I just know you too well."

"Oh, okay," I breathed in relief; as far as I was aware, I had acted the same in both types of scenarios.

"But I do need to tell you something, Séraphine."

My heart began to beat more rapidly than it had a few moments before. "What's that?"

"Your chances with Enjolras are very slim."

I felt slightly affronted. Was this an attack of some sort on my appearance or personality? "Why do you say that?"

Éponine seemed to observe my defensive tone and said, "It's not because of you personally, 'Phine. It's just because Enjolras is not interested in women. Many girls have tried to date him, but none have ever succeeded. Marius has told me that Enjolras loves France more than he could ever love a woman."

Disappointment filled my veins, but after thinking about it I was not surprised. Enjolras talked more about our country than he did about anything else.

"Is that true?" I asked Éponine. "Is he really that aromantic?"

"He is."

I began to wonder what this said about Enjolras's taste, or lack thereof, in women. "So, is he just looking for the right girl? Is it that no girls have ever been right for him? Are his standards too high? Or is he just really not interested at all? I can't imagine someone not being even a little bit intrigued by the idea of romance...Or is he a homosexual?"

Before I could stammer any further, Éponine interrupted with a chuckle, "Too many questions, Séraphine. All you need to know is that Enjolras is not looking for a partner at the moment. And many beautiful women have propositioned him in the past. If he were interested, he would certainly have accepted their offers. He's definitely not a homosexual; Grantaire has asked him that question on numerous occasions. He has stated that he is heterosexual but uninterested."

"So that's all there is to it? He's just simply not interested in love at all?"

"That seems to be it. In fact," she whispered secretively, "I believe he is a virgin."

I shook for a moment and I knew that my face was blushing tremendously. I had not given a second of thought to Enjolras's sexual behavior; my feelings for him were nowhere near strong enough for me to even ponder such topics. Nor did I see what my friend's point was in bringing it up.

"Why is that such a surprise, Éponine? I am also a virgin," I told her, even though she already knew -- Éponine and I truly had no secrets. "And so are you."

"I'm aware. And so is Marius, I believe," she added with a small smile. "But my point is that, other than that, I believe all of the other boys have had their virginity taken already. If Enjolras were interested in women in the slightest, he probably would have had intercourse with someone by now. He's certainly had the opportunities, given all the girls who have expressed interest in him."

"Wow," I breathed, "okay. Well, maybe he's just waiting for the right girl. Many people do not give away their virginity very freely."

"Of course," Éponine stated. "But listen to me, Séraphine. I'm telling you this because I'm your best friend, and I don't want you to get your hopes up too high. Enjolras is very unlikely to court anyone in the near future, if he does at all. And I know you're very optimistic, but please try to remember that he very much enjoys being single. I don't want you to be disappointed."

Despite Éponine's advice, I could not help but feel a bit dejected. I truly thought it was a possibility that Enjolras had developed feelings for me, but Éponine knew him longer than I did. He must have simply been acting gentlemanly when he offered to pay for my meal, and when he impulsively attacked Gilles for me. I thought that he possibly attacked Gilles out of passion, but I seemed to be mistaken. Éponine was a good friend for keeping my feelings in mind, but I still felt a sinking feeling in my chest. It appeared that I would have to settle for being Enjolras's friend, and nothing more.

"Okay," I responded, trying to come to terms with all she had said. "Thank you so much, Éponine. I really appreciate it."

"No problem!" she said, giving me a hug. "If it's any consolation, I think you two would be a very attractive couple."

I smiled. "Thank you. But speaking of attractive couples, what were you and Marius giggling about when I first came to the park?"

"Oh," she flushed, "nothing much. Just a bit of chatter about the other guys. Apparently Grantaire got drunk last night and pulled down his pants in the middle of a crowded street. That's what I like about Marius -- we have mutual friends and we can just have fun together and laugh about them."

"My," I chuckled, envisioning the Grantaire incident. "Well, from my point of view, he seems to have feelings for you. His body language says it all -- he always moves in close to you when he speaks to you."

"Do you think so?" Éponine gushed, taking on the same young-girl enthusiasm as I had felt a short while ago.

"That's just what I observe," I clarified. "But yes. I do think so."

"Wow!" Éponine exclaimed. "It's nice to hear that from an outsider."

"And I have some more news for you," I revealed.

"Do tell," Éponine smirked.

"Well," I began, "Joly hinted at having feelings for you the other day when I met everyone."

"Did he?" Éponine asked, seeming genuinely shocked at this disclosure. "What did he say?"

"He just got very giddy and said that you were an amazing person."

"Whoa! I just...wow, that's very sweet. But I hope you're wrong. I wouldn't want to disappoint him. He's so sweet, but I already have feelings for Marius."

"Hey," I consoled. "Don't worry about it. I don't even know if I'm right. I'm just pretty sure that I am."

Éponine chuckled. "You usually are right with these types of things."

"So are you!" I joked back. "You've always been good at reading people. You've never been wrong."

She had never been wrong, I acknowledged. I just hoped that, regarding Enjolras, she would be.


	7. find me now find me here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "in my life  
> i'm no longer alone  
> now the love of my life is so near  
> find me now find me here"
> 
> -in my life

SÉRAPHINE POV

Éponine and I relaxed and talked throughout the rest of the day, gossiping and discussing current events as was our norm. When the sun started to set on the streets of Paris, I decided to retire to my house for the night and crawl into bed to ponder the day's events.

I arrived home and, after washing myself off and writing my routine letter to my parents, got into bed. Immediately, I began to think about Enjolras again. I remembered Éponine's statement regarding his lack of interest in women and how she had told me not to get my hopes up, but I still could not keep myself from feeling positive about the situation. What was wrong with me? Any normal person would simply move on and acknowledge that such a person was not right for them, sparing them the heartache, but I supposed I was not any normal person. The fact that I still remained idealistic about the scenario was a bit insane, especially given what Éponine had said, but it was just how my psyche operated. I was thus very accustomed to great disappointments and letdowns.

Apparently, such a great deal of thinking about Enjolras made me sleepy. I dozed off to sleep a few short moments later, and I dreamed of him that night.

The next morning, I woke up once I sensed the light entering through the glass of my window. I was surprised at how much had happened the previous day. I had gone to babysit Thierry, Enjolras had come with me and punched Gilles, we had gone for lunch together, and Éponine had been frank with me about Enjolras's preferences. All of that happened just one day before, and it felt a bit too much to take in. My next realization when I woke up was that it was Saturday. Enjolras had told me the previous day that he and the other boys often "worked" on Saturdays, and I wondered what he could possibly be talking about. I knew it was none of my business and that I should not make it a priority to figure out what it was, but my curiosity was naturally piqued. I rose out of bed and got myself ready for the day, heading to the place where I had a feeling the boys might be -- at their favorite restaurant, the one that we all frequented in the square.

Upon my arrival, I noticed that none of them were there. In fact, the restaurant was closed. What a silly mistake! It was only eight in the morning, and the restaurant was not even open yet. It did not open until eleven, for lunchtime. I hung my head and began to walk back to my house, figuring that I would go back to sleep for a bit, when I saw Marius walking by. He did not notice me, so I called for him.

"Marius!" I yelled from a few yards away from him.

Immediately, he came rushing over. "Séraphine! What are you doing out here?"

Realizing that my next reply could make me sound like a bit of a stalker, I responded, "Well, Enjolras told me that you guys work a lot on weekends. And Éponine has told me before that you guys have all been working on a secret plan. I guess I wanted to know what it was, so I came looking for you guys. I'm really sorry; it wasn't any of my business."

Marius did, unfortunately, have a strange expression on his face. I could tell he thought my action was a bit weird. He seemed to shrug it off fairly quickly, though, and his strange expression turned to one of slight evasiveness. It almost looked as though he did not want me to know what they did. 

"Yes," he said, "Éponine was right. We have been working on something for a while, now. And, as Enjolras stated, we often work on it on weekends. But it's...er, well, it's just a school project. It's nothing big. Just something we need to get done."

I wondered why Éponine would refer to a school project as a "secret plan," but I simply took it as her flair for the dramatic and nodded at Marius. "Okay! Well, enjoy."

"Thanks!" he brightened up. "Hey, wait. Séraphine?"

"Yes?" I asked as we both sat down on a bench in the square.

"I, er, have a question."

My heart pounded a bit more quickly as it always did when people said such a thing to me. "Absolutely."

"Do you have feelings for Enjolras?"

My face reddened and my forehead began to sweat. Oh, no! I supposed it was obvious that I had developed a crush on Enjolras! I figured that Éponine only noticed because she knew me so well, but if Marius noticed too then clearly I was doing a poor job of hiding it.

Before I let my guard down, I asked, "Why do you ask?"

"Well," he started, "last night, after you went home, Éponine was walking alone at night to her family's patch. I was outside myself for a stroll, and I saw that she was walking alone in the dark. I went to walk with her, and she said you told her a secret. I'm afraid I asked what the secret was. I'm sorry I was so intrusive. But Éponine felt bad for revealing you had a secret in the first place, and she refused to tell me what it was. So it got me thinking about what it could have been, and I've just observed how close you and Enjolras have become so quickly. And I deduced that, possibly, you had feelings for him."

"Wow," I quickly exhaled, impressed at Marius's logical train of thought. "Well, you've caught me. Please don't tell any of the others, but...yes, I do. I have feelings for Enjolras."

Instead of making a big deal out of the situation as I feared he would, Marius, thankfully, nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"Thanks, Marius!" I grinned. After I had initially spoken, however, I felt my smile dissipate a bit. "Éponine already told me that I don't really have a chance at him reciprocating my feelings. She mentioned his lack of interest in women."

"Yes, our friend Enjolras definitely has always been the one of us with no desire to have any romantic encounters."

Éponine warning me of Enjolras's nature was one thing, but Marius was much closer to him than she was. They were very good, perhaps best, friends. For Marius to say that Enjolras was not interested in women confirmed Éponine's original sentiment, and I began to feel myself sinking into the same disappointment that I had come to know so well. High expectations and hope have often led to my dejection, and this instance was no different.

"Oh, well," I sighed. "I knew it probably wasn't smart to get my hopes up. I guess we're just meant to be friends. It's not like it was anything more than a little crush, anyway."

"Hold on, Séraphine. You didn't let me finish."

In excited anticipation, I said, "What do you mean?"

"It's true that Enjolras has never been interested in having a lover before. And I know you two have only known each other for a short time, but he does talk about you quite frequently."

My heart nearly exploded with excitement and I could feel myself becoming a bit restless. "Does he really?"

"He does. He thinks you're very witty and he finds your idealism inspiring. In my opinion, he seems much more fond of you than he ever has any girl."

Wow! Any hope that had been crushed a few short moments ago was beginning to reshape itself, making me feel once again positive and optimistic in regards to having Enjolras reciprocate my feelings.

"So, wait. Marius, what are you trying to get at?"

"I just have noticed the way he gets when he speaks about you or when you are mentioned in conversation. His eyes light up a bit and he gets attentive. I'm not saying for a fact that he has feelings for you, especially given his history, but he undoubtedly has tremendous interest in you as a person."

For now, this was sufficient for me. I was not looking for Marius to tell me that Enjolras decidedly had feelings for me, but the fact that he was able to verify Enjolras's interest in me was enough for me to regain a sense of confidence in a potential romantic future with him. At the very least, Enjolras responded differently to me than he had previously responded to other women. I could work with that, and I wondered if I should make a move.

"Marius, would it be completely crazy of me to go for it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Enjolras. Would it be insane of me to tell him how I feel about him?"

Smiling, Marius chuckled, "You've got guts, Séraphine. No, I don't think that would be crazy at all. Even if he rejects you, I don't think Enjolras is the type of person who would allow that to ruin the great friendship you two have established. He enjoys your company too much, it seems."

Hooray! It was thus decided: I would confess my feelings to Enjolras within the next few days. I was the type of person who was horrible at bottling up feelings, and it was always difficult for me to keep in what I was feeling. To tell Enjolras how I felt was the natural move for me, even if it was a bit stupid or premature. I knew the risks of confessing how I felt, but I did not care.

"Thank you so much for your help, Marius," I grinned, hugging him unexpectedly. Hatching an idea, I then added, "Wait a moment. Would you be free for dinner tonight?"

"Me alone?" he asked.

"No, no," I clarified. "Do you think you and your friends would be able to come by to have dinner with me at my house after your work for the day is done? I'd be happy to cook a nice meal for you all."

Lighting up, Marius answered, "I think we'd all like that very much. Enjolras has said that your house is very nice from the outside. I'd love to see what it looks like on the inside, too."

"So, is that a yes?"

"I know we aren't doing anything after we work on our...project, and I can't imagine the others saying no. So I'll let them know to be at your house for dinner at...is six okay?"

"That'll be great!"

"Wonderful," Marius replied.

"Are you going to be seeing Éponine today?" I asked him.

With a slight blush on his face that made me suspect even more that he had feelings for my best friend, Marius answered, "I am."

"Please invite her as well."

"Of course!" he beamed.

"Thanks! So, you and the others and Éponine can just be at my house at six for dinner. I'll have everything prepared."

"Great! We'll be there," he chirped.

"I'm so glad! I'll see you later; I'm going to get home and figure out what to make. It should take the majority of the day since I'll be cooking for so many," I said as I waved goodbye to him and started to walk back to my house.

My walk back was filled with many positive and joyful thoughts. For one thing, Marius had given me a lot of hope regarding a possible romantic future between me and Enjolras. He really was a great friend, and I could understand why Éponine had become so enamored by him. In addition, I was very excited to spend dinner at my home with my new friends. The rest of the day was going to be a good one; I could foresee that immediately. There was one thought that bothered me a bit, though. The previous day, I had asked Enjolras if he had been interested in coming to dinner at my house with the others. His response was that they were usually busy on Saturdays. Clearly, if Marius was so willing to bring everyone over, they were not too busy to come enjoy dinner with me. This, to me, indicated that Enjolras was not interested in spending time with me in that manner. But Marius had told me Enjolras was very fond of me...Why was Enjolras so mysterious, so frequently giving off mixed messages?

Were I anyone else, I probably would have been discouraged by Enjolras's different signals. I would have given up my vow to tell him how I felt. Even so, I was not someone else. I promised myself that I would tell him how I felt, if for no other reason than to get it off my chest.


	8. touch my soul and teach me love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "yet why did i allow that man  
> to touch my soul and teach me love"
> 
> -what have i done (valjean's soliloquy)

SÉRAPHINE POV

Because Marius had ensured me that he and the other gentlemen, as well as Éponine, would be joining me for dinner that night, I took his word. I knew he would not promise me such a thing and have me spend my day cooking if he were not positive that the others would be coming, so I immediately went home after my conversation with him. After a short respite, I began to ponder what I would cook for dinner that night. I also began to secretly hope that Enjolras would join; as I had previously feared, Enjolras had stated that they would be too busy working to come to dinner that night. Perhaps this was his way of politely covering up the fact that he was not interested in joining me. Either way, I looked forward to having a nice meal that night with my new friends. Enjolras's presence was simply a hope of mine, not something that would enable or disable the dinner entirely.

I decided on something simple but tasteful for dinner that night. Cooking was always a hobby of mine for a few reasons: not only did I live alone and have little else to spend my time doing, but I also had a very strong love for good food. I have always enjoyed meat, so I decided to make a meat dish. I prepared a beef entrée, cutting it into portioned pieces and placing it on a large plate. In addition, I prepared some green vegetables, a hearty broth, and some buttered breads to go along with the meat. Finally, I gathered a few containers of flavoring and scattered them across the table -- salt, pepper, spices -- so that people could add their choice of seasoning as they would. By the time I had finished my preparation, it was nearly time for the guests to be arriving.

Noticing that it was half past five in the evening, I quietly reached for a book that I was in the middle of reading and digested its pages until I heard the doorbell ring. I expected everyone to arrive at the same time but, to my surprise, Éponine had come first. She was alone.

"Hi, Éponine!" I greeted. "Thank you so much for coming!"

"Thank you for having me!" she proclaimed. "I hope I'm not too early. My father was beginning to get antsy, and I wanted to escape him."

"Say no more," I laughed. "It's okay. Won't you take a seat in the living room before the rest of the guests come?"

"Of course. So, Marius told me something today when he saw me."

"Did he?" I mumbled, a bit embarrassed -- I assumed he had told her I was going to confess how I felt to Enjolras.

My suspicions were confirmed, because Éponine explained, "He said you were going to tell Enjolras that you have feelings for him."

"Well, yes. I am," I admitted.

Éponine grinned mischievously, but her eyes had a strange mix of support and fear in them. This was to be expected -- I had no doubt that she hoped for the best for me, but she also made it apparent that she did not think I would have romantic success with Enjolras.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" she asked. "Just remember what I said before, okay?"

"I will. And I'm sure," I told her. "I want to get it off my chest. I just hate not speaking my feelings to others. The consequences are not as important to me as the fact that I'll be telling him how I feel."

Shaking her head good-humoredly, Éponine mused, "You're a strange one, Séraphine Beaulieu."

"I'm aware, thank you," I joked back.

Right as we began to change the topic of conversation, I heard the doorbell ring once again. This time, I was almost certain that the nine men would be coming together. Again, I was correct. All of the gentlemen were at my door, and I showed them all in.

Greeting everyone one by one and trying to speak over their already-loud chatter, I noticed two things in particular. The first thing I noticed was the man who was walking alongside Marius. He was a man I had never seen before, and I wondered who he was. Simply, he introduced himself as Feuilly. Marius told me that he was a friend of theirs who did not attend school with them. He apologized for not telling me of Feuilly's company in advance and expressed his concern that I had not prepared enough food. I was a bit frustrated with the lack of foresight regarding this unknown guest, but I nonetheless accepted Feuilly into my house and became excited to get to know him. The second thing I noticed was that Enjolras had, indeed, showed up.

Hooray! I felt my heart thump more quickly and my stomach dance as if it were performing ballet. My joy was so strong that Enjolras had showed up with the others that it was all I could do not to hug him. Somehow, I restrained myself and greeted him as normally and politely as I had greeted the others. By the time everyone had ushered themselves into my house and all of the formalities were exchanged, I did a quick count of the people in the room -- eleven others, twelve total if I were to be included -- and made a small announcement.

"Thank you all so much for coming!" I cheered. "I just really wanted to invite you all over for dinner because, well, I really like you guys. And I wanted to show that by having you all here."

I realized that my welcome speech sounded a bit sheepish. Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice, because after they thanked me for having them they all began to eye the food.

"Well," I announced, observing their hunger, "sit down and dig in!"

With that, we all gathered our food and took seats at the table in my dining room. My house was not especially large, so the space was a bit cramped and anyone with any degree of claustrophobia would probably not have wanted to be there. Fortunately, nobody appeared to mind, and the closeness only made it easier for us all to talk to one another. I took a seat in the middle of one side of the table, and Enjolras placed himself across from me. Éponine took a seat next to me, and Marius sat across from her. Feuilly decided to sit next to me and apologize again for his sudden arrival. His words and manners meant a lot to me, and I was glad to accept both his apology and his company.

After everyone was seated, the table erupted into loud and jovial talk. I tried to keep up with everyone, but the amount of conversations and the volume at which everyone spoke made it difficult to. Instead, I decided to talk to those in my immediate vicinity: Éponine, Enjolras, and Marius.

"How is the food?" I asked them all.

They all replied with some variant of "great" or "delicious," and I was very pleased. Despite this, after their responses to me, Éponine and Marius had begun a different conversation with Grantaire and Joly. At first, I was disappointed. I thought they would potentially converse over dinner with me and Enjolras. It could have been a blessing in disguise, though, because it would give me a chance to speak more personally with Enjolras. I was about to say something to him, since he was the only one not otherwise engaged, but he saved me the trouble by speaking first.

"Thank you so much for having us all over tonight," Enjolras began. "It was really very kind of you."

"Of course!" I chimed. "I'm just very happy you all could make it. How was your school project, by the way?"

"Our school project?" Enjolras asked. After a strange pause in which Marius seemed to kick Enjolras under the table, Enjolras repeated, "Oh! That project. I was not aware that you knew of it. Well, it went nicely. We got a lot accomplished today."

I was unsure as to why Marius appeared to kick Enjolras, but I accepted it and the idea quickly pushed itself out of my head. "That's wonderful!"

"Indeed. What did you do today, Séraphine?" Enjolras asked me.

For some reason, I could not contain the excitement growing in my skin when I heard Enjolras saying my name. Hearing that one small word coming from his smooth baritone, it sounded almost angelic. I enjoyed the way he talked -- so poised, so articulate, so prepared. Everything he said had a purpose, and hearing my name come from the mouth of such a smooth speaker was definitely enough to send a bright red blush racing up to my cheeks. I wanted to continue my conversation with him as long as I possibly could, and I hoped that I could bring up an interesting topic to keep the discussion going.

"Today I spent the majority of the day cooking," I answered. "It was actually quite nice. I do enjoy cooking since I'm alone so frequently."

It was not quite the interesting topic that I was searching for, but Enjolras was still able to make a nice conversation out of it. "I don't quite get it, Séraphine. How you live alone and spend so little time with other people. Especially considering that you, as a female, do not attend school. You must get so lonely, especially when I consider how extroverted you seem to be; the only people you ever see are Éponine and, as of late, us."

I chuckled. "Well, before I met you all, I did spend most of my time alone. Éponine and I have been very close since we met, and little Thierry Lavoie is really the only other person I see on a somewhat regular basis that I have a special bond with. The other children I watch, I am not as close with. It's such a shame Gilles is such a horrible man, or else I would love to visit Thierry more often."

"Indeed," Enjolras smirked. "Thierry was an adorable, lovely child. You and he definitely look very close. He probably considers you an older sister."

"Well, he probably considers me a mother figure rather than a sister figure."

"A mother figure?" Enjolras questioned, his eyes widening. "Is his own mother not in the picture?"

I decided to carefully reveal a family secret of the Lavoies' that I had never previously told anybody. "No, unfortunately, she is not. I do not quite know what happened to her, but I do know that she does not live with them anymore. Every now and then Thierry mentions her and claims that he misses her. It truly is a pity that such a sweet child has to grow up with such a horrid man, and with no mother on top of that."

"Oh, Séraphine. You fill the shoes of a mother to him quite well. Don't despair too much. He still has you as a strong female role model and caregiver in his life."

Grinning, I said, "Thank you, Enjolras! You know, he really liked you as well. His eyes lit up every time you talked to him."

"Did they, now?" he pressed.

Making my first bold move of the night and preparing myself for when I would actually confess my feelings, I decided to flirt a bit with Enjolras. It would not be anything too forward or overt, but it would definitely be enough for him to realize that I truly was interested in him -- to an extent, at the very least.

"Well," I said, "it's hard to blame him. You do have a very powerful effect on people, Enjolras."

Enjolras snorted. "Oh, dear."

"You do," I insisted. "People are naturally drawn to you. You have this magnetism about you that pulls people in, and little Thierry is no exception."

"People are drawn to you, too," he told me. "You've a very naturally warm air about you."

"Oh!" I stammered, a bit flustered. "Do I?"

"Absolutely. A single conversation with you, and people know they can trust you. You have a kind aura, Séraphine. Just the way I supposedly have a powerful one," he added as a final joke.

"Why, thanks!" I giggled.

"Don't mention it," he replied. After a short moment, he added with a chuckle, "Although, I was not so sure you would be as kind as you are when I first met you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly worried that I had previously offended or been mean to Enjolras.

"You don't remember? It was one of our very first interactions?"

Suddenly, I understood the occasion that Enjolras was referencing. A smile plastering itself on my face, I recalled the day we met. He had been referring to the time I yelled at him furiously for his implications and inferences about my life. I remembered how I told him he should not judge me based on my middle-class status and that he did not have any idea what I had been through. For a moment, I began to feel bad again, but then I remembered what Enjolras had said: according to him, that was the moment he realized he was interested in me as a person.

"I remember now," I giggled. "I hadn't been that angry in quite some time."

"You do seem very even-tempered on a normal basis."

"You're right," I acknowledged with a smirk. "It doesn't happen often at all, that I get mad. But when it does, oh dear. Everyone in the vicinity had better watch out."

"I see that now," he laughed back. 

After this last comment, a few seconds of silence transpired between us. It appeared that neither of us was sure how to follow up this comment, and I wondered if Enjolras was as paranoid as I was. I began to break into a mental frenzy, wondering if this was the right moment for me to pull him aside and tell him how I felt. It probably was not, because everyone else was still finishing up their dinner and a few people were going back for second helpings. I did not want to confess how I felt to him in the midst of such a large crowd; if I were to tell him now, everyone would know, and I was not sure how I would feel about that just yet. My final decision was to think of something to say and to do it quickly, resolving to tell him how I felt later. However, before I could say anything to him, I heard a voice calling me over from the other side of the table.

"Séraphine!" Combeferre called. "Where would you like us to put our plates?"

Getting up, I warmly responded, "Just put them on the counter next to my sink! I'll wash them off when you all leave. You are more than happy to come into my living room when you are done eating."

After I said this, a few people -- Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Marius, Joly -- put their plates down and began to head into the living room. The rest of us were still working on our food, so we finished eating and put our plates where the others were. After ten or fifteen minutes, the rest of us had finished conversing and led ourselves into my living room.

My living room was, aside from my bedroom, the most spacious part of my house. Back when my parents and brother Verdun used to live here with me, before they all moved away, we spent hours upon hours laughing and chatting in the living room. We set it up so that it would be cozy and large, creating an environment that would charm and comfort any potential house guests. It was the first room that a person would find him- or herself in upon walking through my front door. To the right of the entrance was a large sofa, and a few love seats were scattered around the middle and left side of the room. Comfortable armchairs and a small table adorned the room as well, and I had an affinity for lighting candles in the room to set the mood. Overall, I considered the living room my second favorite room in the house (after my bedroom) and I was glad to see that everyone else appeared to like it too.

"Your home is beautiful," Marius stated, sitting on one of the love seats and looking over as Éponine took the vacant spot next to him. "We'll have to stop by more often -- granted we're invited."

"You're always invited," I grinned, my eyes lingering on Enjolras for a moment too long. I took a seat in one of the armchairs and watched Enjolras take the one next to me, feeling myself suppress a smile at this development. Why was something as simple as Enjolras sitting next to me making me so happy?

"You know, Séraphine, you really don't have to do all this for us," Courfeyrac offered. "Inviting us to your house, cooking us dinner, bringing us pastries whenever you come visit us."

"I know," I smiled, noticing that all eyes were on me. "I just -- I just really like you guys. You're all so personable and interesting. I'm glad Éponine introduced me to you all. I know it's only been a short while, but I just really enjoy hanging out with you all."

Scattered laughs and chuckles were the responses I received, and I accepted them happily. I tended to get very attached to new friends very quickly, so I understood if the others were not as immediately fond of me as I was of them. I formed positive and strong impressions of the people I liked at a much faster rate than most others; I did not expect anyone else to feel as quickly drawn to me because they probably took their time in forming their opinions.

The room quickly became a cacophony of fun. Grantaire and Combeferre were arguing playfully over something, Lesgle and Bahorel were chuckling heartily at a joke that Joly had made, and Marius and Éponine were engaged in a small and personal conversation. I was glad that my house could be the setting for all this, but I also gulped in fear. This, if any moment, was the right moment for me to tell Enjolras how I felt. Everyone was so engrossed in their own personal conversations that it would not be too noticeable if I had pulled Enjolras aside for a few moments. People were getting up and down, animating and telling stories, with great frequency. Were I to tell Enjolras how I felt on this night, it would have to be now. Before I could even plan what I was going to say, before I knew what words were going to come from my mouth, I swallowed and spoke.

"Enjolras?"

Why did my mouth beat my brain to the punch? Enjolras turned around expectantly, waiting for me to tell him what I wanted to tell him. Oh, no. There was no escaping now.

"Um...may I speak to you in private, over here?"

"Sure," he nodded, a bit puzzled.

I pulled him over slowly and anxiously to a different section of the living room, a place where we would not be noticed by the others unless they were to come into this other corner. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried fruitlessly to form my words in my head but to no avail. I could feel my cheeks burning and my body shaking, and I knew that the longer I prolonged this the longer my body would feel the physiological effects. 

"What's the matter, Séraphine? You look nervous," Enjolras commented once we were out of sight and earshot.

"There's...ah, Enjolras. There's something I want to tell you, if that's okay."

Enjolras's eyes widened, and I could tell he was wondering what I would say. "Of course. What is it?"

"Well...I've grown very fond of you over the past week."

Enjolras grinned. "I've grown fond of you too."

No! I was able to see that he was missing my point. The message I was trying to get across was not making itself clear. Come on, Enjolras, I thought. Don't make me do all the work.

"I, uh, I don't think you see what I mean," I stammered slowly, knees buckling and sweat beginning to form in my brow. "What I meant was...well, I believe I'm developing feelings for you."

Appearing slightly taken aback and eyes widening even more than before, Enjolras questioned, "You mean, as in..."

"Yes. Romantically." Picking up my pace as a result of my nervousness, I continued, "But I don't expect you to reciprocate my feelings, Enjolras. I know it's only been a short while since I even met you at all, but I just hated keeping it bottled up because I never like to keep my feelings in, so I just really wanted to get it off my chest and I hope my confession does not affect our friendship and that we can still continue to spend time toge--"

My words were cut off as I felt a pair of hands -- Enjolras's, of course -- grab mine. "Séraphine," he chuckled. "Calm down. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- you're too wound-up."

I looked down. Although this was around the area of the response I had been anticipating, it was not the response I had been hoping for. "I...just really wanted to tell you. I'm sorry, Enjolras."

His left hand still grabbing my right hand, Enjolras pulled his right hand away and used it to tilt my head up towards him. We were making eye contact, and I bit my lip tensely.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked me.

"Well, I don't know...it just seemed like the right thing to do in the situation," I admitted uncomfortably.

"Séraphine. You should never apologize for how you feel. And..." Enjolras trailed off.

And? I wondered after an awkward pause. What's your "and," Enjolras? Hurry up and say it!

"And..." he repeated, "well, I must admit that I've started to feel for you what I have never felt towards a girl before."

What? I wondered, my heart racing with new hope.

"Are you saying..." I started.

Sighing a big sigh, Enjolras explained with a small smile, "Okay. I have never felt romantic feelings towards anyone before. I have always been too focused on two things: working on what needs to be worked on, and maintaining my friendships. That being said, I have found myself feeling things towards you that I have never felt towards any other girls, and things that I have never felt towards any friends. So I believe I view you as more than a friend, Séraphine. There's just...there's something inside of me that feels happy and warm when I'm with you, and I believe it can only be explained by a romantic attraction."

"So...?" I asked excitedly, waiting for him to get to his main point -- if he did not make a clear statement soon, I knew I would start jumping up and down.

"So," he clarified, "I have feelings for you too, but I am not sure how to proceed with those feelings. This is a very foreign territory for me. All I know is that I have grown immensely fond of you since I've met you, and I'm not really sure how to conduct relationships."

I came in closer to him, a grin germinating on my face that I knew probably looked a bit goofy. At the moment, though, I did not care. I explained, "I don't really know how to conduct them either. I have only had one significant other in my life, and we were only seeing each other for a short time."

"I see," Enjolras commented, a bit gawkily.

"But --" I stumbled, "I'm willing to try to be with you if you're willing to try to be with me."

He appeared to think for a moment. I almost did not care what his reaction would be -- the most important thing to me was that he had developed a crush on me the same way I had developed a crush on him! How exciting! When I pondered it more, though, I began to feel tense and stiff, waiting for him to come up with a response. Why not give it a shot, Enjolras? I thought, a bit of impatience slipping it. What's stopping you from giving in to your feelings?

My mental questions were answered with a small peck on my cheek. "Yes. This is something I'm willing to try," he answered. My heart nearly burst with exuberance! "This is something I'm willing to try," he repeated, "with you."


	9. yet with you my world has started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i did not live until today  
> how can i live when we are parted  
> tomorrow you'll be worlds away  
> and yet with you my world has started"
> 
> -one day more

SÉRAPHINE POV

After Enjolras confessed that he felt the same way I did and agreed to give a potential relationship a try, I could not contain my joy for the rest of the night. The group left shortly after, Enjolras staying behind for a few moments to say a prolonged goodbye, and it was extremely difficult for me to fall asleep after they left. I stayed up for about two hours, smiling up at my ceiling giddily. I had only known Enjolras for a week, and I had only just confessed my feelings to him, but I could not help but feel extremely jovial. He had told me before he left that he would come to my house the next day at noon, and he would take me out to lunch at a more high-end place than we had been going previously. I laughed my way to sleep that night, unable to wait patiently for the next day. Finally, somehow, I managed to fall asleep.

The next morning, I arose at about ten. I hurriedly jumped out of bed and wished with all my might that noon would come quickly, because I was far too excited to stand the wait. Fortunately, by the time I had gotten ready (it took awhile because I wanted to ensure that I looked perfect!) it was almost noon. I killed a few more minutes by reading a book, and then I heard a knock on the door.

Rising to answer it, my heart thumping more than I thought humanly possible, I answered it. Every possible thought in the world flew through my head in the short amount of time that it took for me to open that door. What would I say? Would I make things awkward by saying something stupid? Did I look okay?

Once I opened the door, Enjolras saved me from every potential embarrassing scenario by flashing me a big smile and a hug.

"Hello, Séraphine. You look wonderful today."

"Thank you," I blushed, noticing that he himself appeared to have donned some fancier clothing than he usually did. "As do you."

"Thank you," he grinned. "Now, shall we head out?"

"Let's," I agreed.

With that, he stepped back and led me out of the door. As Enjolras pulled my door shut behind me, I could not help but blush even further at how gentlemanly he was acting. I understood why I had fallen for him -- he was so gallant and genuine, all without trying.

Suddenly, a new frightening thought occurred to me. Should I grab his hand? Or is it too early? Should I let him do it?

Oh, no. I struggled mentally to make the decision -- I wanted to remind him of my feelings by holding his hand, but I also did not want to take a step that he would feel uncomfortable being taken. A few moments went by of my silent pondering before he paused.

"Hey. Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah!" I replied. "Just...well, just a little nervous."

Enjolras smiled warmly. "I am, too. I've never done anything like this before. But we both said we wanted to try, right?"

"That's right," I grinned, suddenly feeling all anxiety dissipate from my mind. "That's right."

"So try to relax. Can you do that? We're going to have fun today."

"Yes," I responded exuberantly. "I can."

With that, we chuckled a bit and I decided to go against grabbing his hand. Although we had shared a tender moment, I did not want to ruin it by holding his hand. This was just a first date, after all -- were we even "boyfriend and girlfriend" yet? Would we ever be?

Stop, I told myself sternly. Enjoy this. Stop worrying about the future. You worry too much about the future. Right now is the present. And you are with Enjolras, and you are going to have a nice time.

I sighed, inhaling deeply. I would not allow anything to ruin this day, especially not my tendency towards overthinking.

To get rid of my anxieties, I decided to start a conversation. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Well," he replied, "it's a very elegant and cozy restaurant. It's called La Lune."

The moon.

"Oh! That sounds beautiful," I stated. "Where is it?"

"It's actually a bit of a long walk from here," he admitted. "I didn't think you would mind, considering you seem fond of the outdoors and of exploring new places. I hope this is okay with you."

"Of course! I --"

With that, I began to giggle.

"What?" he asked, a quizzical smile on his face.

"I, well," I said, "the perfect first date to me is a walk. A nice, long walk. Getting to know the person, just enjoying their presence. I know it sounds a bit dumb."

"Not at all," he said gently, looking into my eyes. "I think that sounds very sweet. Although, I do already feel as though I know quite a bit about you. So that part may not apply as well in this situation."

I laughed at first, but shortly afterwards I came to a realization.

"I think you're right. I think you know a lot more about me than I know about you," I observed.

"Ah," he breathed, making me feel unsure as to whether he was comfortable with revealing more about himself. It had, after all, only been a short time since we had even met in the first place.

"You don't have to go into any details if you don't want to," I offered.

"It isn't that I don't want to share more about myself with you, Séraphine," Enjolras replied. "There just is not much to share."

"Come on. There has to be something," I said, knowing full well that I was pressing a bit.

He chuckled. "Well, I believe I've told you the basics. I'm from a fairly wealthy family, and I aspire to change the world someday."

"You sure do seem like a world-changer," I admired openly.

"Thank you," he said as we continued to walk.

"If you do not mind my asking," I began, "do you get along with your family? As you've implied before, you don't seem too fond of the bourgeoisie. But your family is among them. How does that work."

"Admittedly," he began, getting the spark in his eyes that I had only seen when he was talking about political issues, "I feel a bit hypocritical in that I do live with them and get along with them despite their class. I do not know what it feels like to be impoverished, but I have seen it so often that I feel it's my duty to do something about it."

"Don't feel bad," I consoled. "You can't hold anything against them for being on the wealthier side of the spectrum. You're not hypocritical."

"It's not so much their wealth that bothers me. It's the fact that it doesn't bother them. They seem perfectly content to ignore the issues that France is facing right now. And I wish they would contribute more to the poor and to the cause."

"The cause?"

Enjolras appeared to freeze up, almost as if he had said something he should not have said. "I...well, basically my school friends and I are planning on doing some rallying. Nothing dangerous or big. We just want to get other people to join us in working towards making the nation a better place for everyone."

"But how? What kind of working?"

After a small pause, he responded, "We, uh, are not really sure yet what we plan on doing. Probably a bit of consultation with some of the important people in Paris. Peaceful methods of making change."

"Oh!" I smiled. "That sounds lovely. I would love to help you all out, if you don't mind."

For a reason I could not explain or fathom, Enjolras suddenly stopped in his tracks. His face turned white and his eyes developed an absence from the situation. He hesitated for a short while before nodding at me for us to continue walking.

"So? Can I help?" I asked.

"...Sure," he said. His tone seemed a bit dismissive.

"That's not the Enjolras brand of certainty I've grown used to," I teased.

"You can help," he stated, more finality in his voice than before. "I'm sorry, I just...I was thinking about something else for a moment. Of course you can help."

The sudden halt appeared to be more than just "thinking about something else for a moment," and I thought I knew what it may have been. Enjolras, I thought, was probably going to do more than governmental consultation in order to make change in France. I assumed he probably intended on vocal street protests -- something a bit more public than direct conversation, something with the potential to become more violent. But I had seen street protests before, and I was not afraid of joining in with them. Enjolras, I was almost certain, was going to be doing some outdoor work and wanted to spare me from any possible dangers.

I understood upon witnessing his concern for me why I had fallen for him so quickly.

"Great!" I replied to his earlier comment. "Thanks so much."

He himself appeared to calm down a bit too. "Of course. It's really great to know someone like you, Séraphine. Someone who's fully aware of her own status in society yet still is willing to fight for those less fortunate."

I grinned. "Well, it's just something that's important to me."

Enjolras's next statement appeared to echo the thoughts I had had just a moment prior. "I think this is part of the reason I've grown to like you so much."

"What?" I blushed.

"I just love how much you care about other people. It's extremely admirable. Even just with little Thierry it was evident. Your dedication to mercy is wonderful."

"Aw," I fawned. "That's so sweet! Thank you. And so is yours. I must say I'm very glad you like me so much, because I like you a lot too.

"It's kind of funny," he chuckled as we stepped, "the way I discovered I liked you."

Yes! I could not wait to hear this. "How, Enjolras?"

"Okay. Do you remember when I punched Gilles Lavoie in the stomach after he insulted you?"

"It was a few days ago. And it was extremely climactic. But I still think I've forgotten somehow," I joked.

"Funny, funny. Well, anyway," he continued, "you may not have caught onto it, but when we went out to lunch that afternoon I could tell that I was a bit distant for parts of it."

"Yes! You were!" I recalled. "I mean...sorry. I do remember."

"That was when I realized I had feelings for you," he confessed. "I had never, ever done anything so impulsively or so rash before I punched that man. And the reason I was so lost inside my own head during lunch that day was because I realized that I punched him for more than "justice." I punched him because I had feelings for you, and it hurt me to hear him saying those kinds of things to and about you."

"My, my," I beamed. "We have a Romeo Montague of sorts here, do we?"

"Again," he said, "very funny. But, yes. That was the day I realized it. I remember paying for your meal that day because I wanted to hint at my feelings."

"I remember that, too," I told him. "I spent the entire night wondering if you paid for me because you had feelings for me."

"Guilty," he smiled, putting his hands up in a motion of mock surrender.

I could hardly contain my excitement. Enjolras had done all of those chivalrous things out of romantic feelings! The punch to Monsieur Lavoie, the paying for my meal -- although it was consistent with his character regardless, the fact that he had done it for the reasons he did was definitely enough to make my smile widen.

"That's the other thing I like about you. I can joke around when I'm with you," he mentioned, referencing his "guilty" remark.

"I like that about us too," I noted.

"I'm a stressed-out person a lot of the time. Always planning, always needing to be doing something productive. But you help me unwind a little, and you bring out the joker in me. It's...well, it's nice to have that calmness in my life."

That may have been the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. Everything I did in my life, every interaction I made with others, every little word I spoke was in an attempt to make the people around me happy and at ease. To know that I was able to do that to the person for whom I had developed an attraction was extremely satisfying.

With that final thought, Enjolras stopped. We were finally standing at the door of the restaurant.

"You know, Enjolras? I think I've ended up learning a bit more about you than you led me to believe I would on this walk."

"I guess you have. Good job," he chuckled as he opened the door of La Lune and ushered me inside.


	10. i like the way you always tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i like the way you grow your hair  
> i like the way you always tease  
> little he knows little he sees"
> 
> -the robbery/javert's intervention

SÉRAPHINE POV

Once I entered the glass doors of La Lune, I immediately knew why Enjolras thought it would be such an ideal place for a date. Everything about the restaurant oozed lusciousness and class -- although I loved going to our usual restaurant with everyone, the sophistication and luxuriousness of La Lune were captivating. Sparkly chandeliers hung from the ceilings, a violinist was seated in the corner playing a Bach piece, and there was a small vase of flowers in the middle of every table. A young man in a fancy serving uniform approached us shortly after we walked in.

"Hello," the man greeted, smiling a professional yet not insincere smile. "Table for two?"

"Yes, please," Enjolras responded. "Thank you very much."

As the man ushered us to our seats, which were at a cozy circular table in the middle of the restaurant, I smiled to myself. Perhaps I was just being my dreamy self, but Enjolras must have really, truly liked me a lot if he wanted to take me to a place like this!

"Enjoy," the man smiled, pouring us two glasses of water and giving us each a menu.

"Thank you," Enjolras and I responded in unison. We then turned towards each other and shared a smile, the kind of smile that I interpreted to mean "I'm really happy to be here with you today."

As if he were reading my mind, Enjolras said, "I'm very happy that we're here together right now."

I flushed -- what a charmer! -- and replied, "Well, as am I."

"You should be," he teased. "I would be happy to be here with me, too."

Citing the Bible, I joked, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace. You'd better watch out!"

"You know your Biblical references."

"Well, I did forego attending Mass today in order to prepare for my day with you," I admitted with a chuckle. "I should probably attempt, at the very least, to show some piety today."

"Therein lies the difference. I did go to Mass this morning -- 8 AM, sharp, just as always. So I think that means I can get away with a bit more today than you can."

I giggled, extremely pleased with how effortless conversing with Enjolras was. He was the perfect blend of serious and fun -- though anyone could tell he was a very diligent person, I and the other schoolboys he was friends with were lucky enough to see him joking on occasion. It was wonderful to have the privilege to be among the people he trusted and liked enough to tease.

"I love talking to you," I told him. "I have never met anyone I have this much to talk about with. Not even 'Ponine."

"Wow," he said with a genuine smile. "I have seen the way you and Éponine interact. For you to have this much to talk about with me says quite a bit. I'm flattered."

I did not even respond to his statement. I simply flashed him a big, friendly smile -- and watched in happiness as he reciprocated it. As this happened, our waiter arrived and we placed our orders for our meals.

"So, tell me, Miss Beaulieu," Enjolras began, "about this previous boyfriend of yours."

"Sorry?" I questioned, wondering why he would bring up my past lover -- if one could even call him that.

"You mentioned that you have only dated one man before me. What was he like? What am I competing against?"

I heartily laughed. "You aren't competing against very much. His name was Emaurri. He was the older cousin of one of the children I babysat a few years back. He was rude and selfish and vain. We only dated for a month, and we only kissed twice. I ended things with him because he cared more about himself than about me. Really, Enjolras, he was nowhere near as polite and considerate as you are. Or as handsome, if I'm being candid! The only thing you two have in common is the first letter of your name."

"Why, thank you for saying that about me. That doesn't sound like very much of a relationship you had with this Emaurri fellow," he commented after hearing my story.

"It wasn't."

"So you are almost as inexperienced with romance as I am."

I suppressed a smirk, remembering the warnings that my friends had given me regarding Enjolras's supposed lack of interest in romance. "It appears that way. I told Éponine a few days ago about my feelings for you. She told me that I shouldn't be too optimistic because you "love France more than you could ever love a woman." So, if her words are true, then we really are at the same level of experience, Enjolras."

Enjolras's face got red, and I could tell he was a bit upset that Éponine would say something like this to me -- regardless of its truth.

"She was not wrong," he confessed. "I have never dated, kissed, slept with, even been attracted to any women. I've seen women on the streets that I thought were good-looking, but never anything more. This has always been because my duties and my love for my country overpowered any possible romantic feelings. But she neglected to tell you that it wasn't solely my lack of interest in romance. It was in part because I never met any woman I felt I wanted to have such an experience with."

"Until I came along," I joked with a wink.

"Until you came along," he agreed.

Right as I was about to respond, our waiter returned with our orders and placed them at the table. "Enjoy your meals," he grinned.

"I imagine the food here is wonderful," Enjolras commented as he began to put seasoning on his meat.

"You've never been here before?" I asked. "How do you know about it?"

"I have never had a reason to come here. As you've already dug out of me, you are the only woman I've been on a date with. A fact about which I thank you for not poking fun -- the other guys love to point out that I'm one of the only two who's never been in a relationship with a girl."

"Is Marius the other one?" I asked, maybe with too much eagerness.

"He is," Enjolras replied as he bit into his food. "I actually found out about this place through him. He has been talking about wanting to take Éponine here one day."

"Has he?" I asked, my eyes widening. "So does...does he have feelings for her?"

Enjolras shrugged. "He has never admitted to it, but I imagine he does. When he told me about this restaurant, he told me that the others have only invited girls that they were very much interested in to eat here with them."

I tried to suppress a giggly, childish grin at his subtle hinting towards having strong feelings for me -- but I failed.

"Anyway," he continued, noticing my grin and chuckling, "I believe he does have feelings for her, just for that reason."

"Well, he should ask her!" I cheered. "She's been infatuated with him since she's met him. She would absolutely love it, Enjolras."

"Ah -- there is a problem with that," Enjolras started.

"What's that?"

"As you can tell, this is a very fancy, upscale restaurant. Éponine and her family cannot afford to buy the kinds of clothes required to come here."

"That's not a problem!" I exclaimed. "I could lend her one of my dresses. She's a bit smaller than me, but I don't think she's tiny enough so that she wouldn't be able to fit. All I want is to see her happy. I've always felt horrible for her. She goes through so much on such a daily basis. The least I could do is lend her a dress so that she could enjoy a nice dinner."

"That's very kind of you, Séraphine. I've found your kindness and concern for others very admirable, ever since I met you. In fact, I haven't yet found a single thing I dislike about you."

Suddenly, I recalled something -- something that had made me upset a few days prior and that I now felt comfortable bringing up to him.

"Really? Because I was a bit confused a few days ago. Something you said made me think you were not interested in spending time with me."

"Oh, no!" Enjolras exclaimed. "Whatever I said to give you that impression, I did not mean it in the way that you took it. What was it that I said?"

"It's silly of me to even have remembered this?"

"Tell me, Séraphine."

"All right," I said. "Remember the other day, when me and you went to babysit Thierry? And then we went out to eat afterwards? Well, that was on Friday, and I remember asking you if you and the other boys wanted to come over for dinner the next night -- Saturday night. And you said you were probably going to be too busy, even though Marius made it quite clear that you were not too busy to come eat with me."

Enjolras nodded. "I know exactly what you're talking about."

"Really?"

"I do," he continued. "I remember telling you that we would probably be too busy to come eat with you. I told you this because I knew I had developed feelings for you."

"Sorry?" I asked, failing to see the correlation.

"Ever since we met, about a week ago, I have felt attracted to you. Ever since our little mishap in the restaurant the day that we met. But I didn't really know I was attracted to you, if that makes any sense at all, until Friday. I wondered how it was possible for me, someone who has never been attracted to anyone, to become attracted to someone in such a short amount of time. It frightened me a bit, and so when you asked me to eat with you I said no because I didn't want to allow myself to catch feelings. By yesterday morning, though, I accepted my feelings for you. There was no sense in trying to deny what I was so clearly feeling, but I tried to hide it from myself by saying no to you. I hope you're not upset."

Upset? I thought to myself. How on Earth could I have been upset by this? From the beginning of Enjolras's explanation to the very end, I found myself smiling from ear to ear. I felt my stomach swimming and my feet tapping excitedly beneath my shoes. Enjolras had told me that he had been interested in me from the very beginning, and he thought I was going to be upset?

"Upset?" I asked. "I'm not sure you know the definition of the word, Enjolras."

"I didn't say anything I didn't mean," he smiled warmly.

At that moment, I knew something had to be done. After a heartfelt delivery such as that, the moment was right for me to make a move -- even a small one. I noticed Enjolras's left hand lingering next to his lunch plate, and I gently slid my right hand on top of it. In response, Enjolras's eyes met mine and he cupped his hand around mine. 

We smiled at each other tenderly, softly -- but it was okay, because our eyes were doing more smiling than either of our mouths could.


	11. the secrets that you keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "there's so little you say of the life you have known  
> why you keep to yourself why we're always alone  
> so dark so dark and deep  
> the secrets that you keep"
> 
> -in my life

SÉRAPHINE POV

Enjolras and I had an absolutely lovely meal together, and I found myself feeling more and more attracted to him with every word he spoke. Something about him made me feel so at ease, so free, so unbound. Nothing mattered when I was talking to him -- all the other problems of the world disappeared whenever I was privileged enough to be in his company.

Once the meal ended, Enjolras -- again -- pulled from his pocket enough money to cover both of our meals. I felt very guilty that he kept feeling the need to pay for my food, but my heart fluttered when I remembered the reason why he did so. He must have truly liked me in order to refuse to let me pay for my own lunch.

"Thank you, Enjolras. You really don't have to do that," I offered as he placed the money the table.

"It's my pleasure," he grinned.

I swooned in my seat, blushing. As he had said about me earlier, there was not a single thing about Enjolras that I could possibly find to complain about.

After Enjolras placed the money on the table and escorted me outside, he looked down at me with a smile and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in between mine.

Suddenly I felt safer. Although no dangers were present, feeling Enjolras's warm hand intertwined with mine put me in a place of comfort, a place where no harm could befall me. I made a mental note to think of this any time I felt stressed or upset -- I knew that the thought of my hand intermingled with his would be able to assuage any potential fears.

"Allow me to walk you home," Enjolras said.

"I would like nothing more," I smiled back up at him.

"Did you enjoy our first date as boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked me.

Boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Wow," I replied. "Boyfriend and girlfriend."

The labels had not been spoken out loud yet. I had a feeling in my chest that Enjolras and I were technically classified as such as early as the previous night, when we were at my house for dinner. Even so, hearing the words "boyfriend and girlfriend" being uttered from Enjolras's lips made the start of our relationship that much more real. It was surreal to think that this man, this wonderful, charming man that I had met not a week before, was my boyfriend. I was again mesmerized at how quickly the sequence of events had transpired.

"It does seem a bit unreal," Enjolras chuckled, his words echoing my thoughts.

"I'm just happy you feel the same way I do," I admitted.

"Yeah? Well, I'm just impressed with how much gall it must have taken for you to admit that you were interested in me. To be honest, I'm not sure I would have done it, considering the circumstances."

"What circumstances?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

As he had numerous times since I had met him, Enjolras stopped walking and looked as though he had said something he should not have said. What was going on? Was he hiding something from me?

"Nothing," he responded, continuing to walk as he gently pulled me along by the hand. "Just that I have never been in a relationship and I did not want to ruin our friendship."

If he was lying, he was doing far too good a job of it. I decided that I was simply over-analyzing his words; he seemed like he was telling the truth. Besides, what "circumstances" could he possibly have been talking about?

"Okay," I accepted.

As we continued to walk, we again resumed talking. I tried to ask him a few questions about the street protests that he had planned on initiating, but his answers about the topic were very dismissive. It was as if he did not want to speak about such a thing. At first, this puzzled me, but I eventually reached the conclusion that he likely did not want to talk about "work" or "business" types of things on our very first date as boyfriend and girlfriend. It made sense to me, and I abandoned the issue.

"So," he said once we finally reached my front door, "when will I have the pleasure of seeing you again?"

I blushed at his words.

"Well, I'm available tomorrow," I started, hoping that I was not sounding too eager. "If you would like to meet up after your classes then that would be wonderful."

"I would like that very much," Enjolras responded, and I was relieved to see that he appeared just as excited as I was for our next meeting.

"All right, then," I smiled. "So, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow after your classes?"

"Absolutely. Would you like to meet at my university at 4:00? That's when I'm done with all of my Monday classes."

"That sounds great!" I replied, putting my hand on my doorknob. "Well, then, I'd better be going. Thank you so much for such a lovely afternoon, Enjolras."

"You're very welcome," he responded warmly, giving me a small kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye, Séraphine."

"Goodbye, Enjolras," I said as I opened my door and stepped inside.

For a moment I wondered if I should be worried that Enjolras did not give me the customary post-first date lip kiss. However, I quickly laughed off the notion once I realized its ridiculousness. Before Enjolras, this was something I would have over-analyzed; were Enjolras anyone else, I probably would have reached the verdict that he was not as interested in me as I was in him. I would have thought far too much into the gesture -- or lack thereof -- and driven myself mad. This was not the case with him, though, because I knew that I was Enjolras's first significant other and that he probably did not want to rush anything. Enjolras made me feel so comfortable and secure that even my tendency towards overthinking had diminished.

The only thing I could think of upon arriving home was gossiping about my first date with Enjolras -- with Éponine, of course. Any time something of magnitude happened to me, good or bad, she was always the first person I felt compelled to tell. I had not made any plans with her that day, so I was not sure how I would end up finding her to tell her about my date. Because of this, I decided to relax in my home with a book for awhile -- I couldn't help but think of the whole situation with Gilles as I read -- and I left my home for the town square around six in the evening, hoping to find Éponine there.

Once I arrived, I took a spot in my favorite bench. I resumed reading my book and watched as some people shot me looks of confusion and disdain -- how dare I, a female, read a book in a public place? I ignored their glares, kept reading, and scanned my surroundings for Éponine, hoping she would arrive at some point in the near future.

To my luck, I spotted her wandering in what seemed to be a directionless manner. She had a huge smile painted on her face, and I wondered if she had spent some time with Marius. It was sad, really. I immediately jumped to that conclusion because Marius and I were the only things in her life that made her happy.

"Éponine!" I called, beckoning her over to me. "Come here!"

"Hi!" she greeted, quickening her step until she reached the bench I was on and sat down next to me. "How's it going, 'Phine? Today was your date with Enjolras, wasn't it? Tell me all about it!"

Although I wanted more than anything to immediately relay everything that had happened to Éponine, I then remembered what Enjolras had told me about Marius -- about how Marius wanted to take Éponine to La Lune, where Enjolras and I went.

"First, I have something to say to you," I said, my voice suggestive and silly enough for her to quickly surmise that my words would have to do with Marius.

"What?!" she asked. "Is it Marius? It's Marius, isn't it? What about him?"

I giggled at her excitement and confessed, "Enjolras probably told me this in confidence, but I just can't not tell you. Today Enjolras and I went to La Lune, and he told me that Marius wanted to take you there one day. And apparently you only take people you're really interested in to La Lune -- I wasn't familiar with the place so I didn't know how significant it was that he wanted to take you there."

Given the look on Éponine's face, she was familiar with the place and did understand the significance of him wanting to go there with her.

"Me? And Marius? And La Lune?"

"That's what Enjolras said. Listen," I said, being careful with how I would phrase my next statement, "I'd be happy to lend you something to wear if he ever asks you. I can try to nudge him in that direction if you want. Though, my clothes might be a bit big on you."

"Please, Séraphine," Éponine retorted. "I'm not that much smaller than you are. We'd be able to share clothes if you wanted. You look great -- it's only because I don't get enough to eat that I'm as tiny as I am."

The air suddenly turned somber and cold as the truth of Éponine's words reached my ears. I had said it before to Enjolras, about the difference in our sizes, but that was with Enjolras and not her. It was the elephant in the room, or outdoors in this case -- Éponine's undernourishment was getting more and more evident, when I closely examined her. She really had to fight for food in a way that I had always grown up unfamiliar with. I made a vow to myself to routinely try to feed her more so she would not grow up sicklier.

"Anyway," Éponine said, clearly eager to drift away from our topic of conversation, "Enjolras said that about him? God, you have no idea how excited that makes me!"

"I'm sure!" I exclaimed. "I just knew there was something between you."

"I'm too nervous to initiate anything, though! It'd have to be up to him," Éponine muttered.

"Allow me to be your woman on the inside," I quipped. "I can try to talk to Enjolras or even Marius himself if you want."

"Not yet, but thank you," Éponine replied. "I want to try to summon the courage to take this into my own hands."

"If you insist!" I agreed.

"But now onto your day!" she blurted. 

"One more thing," I said, "before I continue on with my story."

"Oh, God! What is it?" Éponine asked, clearly eager to hear everything.

"Just please don't tell anyone that Enjolras and I are seeing each other. I know Marius probably knows, but don't tell anyone else, okay? I'm not sure if Enjolras wants anyone to know yet."

"Obviously," Éponine grinned. "I'm your best friend, Séraphine. Clearly I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Perfect," I breathed in relief. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, onto the good part! Tell me everything. Did you kiss?"

"Not on the lips, no," I confessed. "But he did kiss me on the cheek."

"Cute!" she exclaimed. "I'm not really all that surprised. He's new at this. He probably doesn't want to rush things."

Even though I was not worried about the lack of a lip kiss in the first place, it was nice to hear Éponine repeating out loud the same things I had been thinking in my head.

"So, what else? What did you guys talk about?" she asked.

"A lot," I told her. "I told him a little bit about Emaurri. I know you've never met him because we were dating before I met you, but I know I've told you a little bit about him."

"Yeah, you have!" Éponine said. "He seemed like a real jerk."

"Enjolras said so too. And then we talked a little about his lack of experience. That's also really nice -- knowing that we're both in the same boat in terms of how much romance we've encountered in our lives."

"That definitely helps in any relationship," Éponine asserted.

"Yes, it does," I responded with a grin. "Other than that, we actually talked about you and Marius for a good deal of time. I think Enjolras seems to support the idea of you two together almost as much as I do, to be quite frank. He seems to have a lot of respect for you."

"That means a lot," Éponine said. "For someone like Enjolras to respect a person must really mean that that person is pretty wonderful."

"It does," I acknowledged, hoping she would catch my subtle compliment towards her integrity as a person.

"But for him to fall for someone?" she said incredulously. "To be honest, I still can't believe he ended up developing feelings for someone. I'm thrilled that he has, and I'm thrilled that it's you, but it's still so hard to fathom. You didn't know him before like I did and like the other guys did. He had absolutely no interest in dating."

"I wonder why I'm suddenly the person who changed that for him," I mused.

"Don't underestimate yourself, 'Phine," Éponine consoled. "You're a great girl! It's just like I said -- how random it is for him to have fallen for a girl so suddenly, especially someone he just met a few days ago. It's almost like fate."

"Fate," I chuckled out loud. "Wow. There's a concept."

"You believe in fate, don't you?" Éponine asked. "I know I do."

"I do too," I told her. "I mean, I believe that we have the power to do what we want in our lives. I also do believe in soul mates and in the universe having a plan for everyone, and in people meeting for a reason. Right now I'm just enjoying my time with Enjolras, though. I haven't really thought about anything too deeply, like if we're meant to be or anything like that. I mean, I've only known him for a few days! But I'm happy about that. I'm happy that I can just have fun with him and enjoy being with him without worrying about where it may go. What's meant to be will be."

"I couldn't have put it any better myself," Éponine said. "It's just still so odd to see how differently he reacts to you than everyone else."

"What do you mean?"

"It's kind of difficult to explain," she admitted. "But there is a look he gets in his eyes whenever you walk into his presence. His entire face softens, and his eyes get this little gleam in them -- kind of like anything that was stressing him out moments before doesn't matter anymore, now that you're where he is. I don't think he means to do it, but it's really sweet if you catch it."

"Wow," I blushed, completely taken aback. How was I to reply to that? What a kind thing for Éponine to say!

"Yeah," she continued. "And he's a really, really stressed-out person on the whole. I think it's a little easier for everyone when you're around, because of how much less stress he imparts on everyone else!"

"Why is he so stressed?" I suddenly asked, feeling that her words connected to the random pauses that Enjolras would give at the moments when he seemed as though he had said too much. Realizing another thing she had previously said, I added, "And what is this 'secret plan' of theirs that you've mentioned before? Does it have anything to do with the government protests that he keeps talking about?"

"I'm not really sure, if I'm being honest," Éponine responded. She seemed much less confused and concerned about the government-protest and secret-plan things, which relieved me. 

"Marius told me that Enjolras told you that you could help them out with some of their protests," Éponine resumed. This confirmed my suspicions that she had been with Marius that day -- it was only some hours before that Enjolras had even told me that in the first place, which had to mean that Enjolras saw Marius and then Marius saw Éponine later, all since I finished my date with Enjolras.

"He said that?" I asked. "So they are really just planning on doing peaceful protests? Is that the 'secret plan' that you were talking about? He's probably just stressed about meeting with government officials?"

"I'm pretty sure that's it. Plus, I've known Enjolras longer than you have. He's always planning something and always trying to be influential and always stressing out over what he can do to make the world a better place. It's really very admirable, but it's also a very stable characteristic of his -- it likely doesn't have much to do with anything that's going on. So don't worry too much."

I took a deep breath, analyzed the situation, and smiled. If Éponine was telling the truth -- and I was sure she was, considering how much she and Marius seemed to talk about everything -- then I had nothing to worry about. As I had previously thought, Enjolras probably was planning on peaceful government discourse, possibly with a few street protests thrown in here and there for added measure. And he had already said that I could help with these things, proving that he did not find them too violent for me. Nothing to worry about, and nothing that would be too dangerous for anyone. The stress probably had to do with his natural personality combined with the sheer amount of planning involved, planning that he probably did not want to completely unveil to me. I was a new person in his life, after all, and I understood if he did not want to tell me everything that was going through his mind. When I added it all up, it made sense -- I had nothing to worry about, and Enjolras's anxiety was simply due to the amount of work he had on his plate between school and his activism.

With the mystery solved, with me as the detective on the case, I was able to rest knowing that, despite my frustration at not knowing what was going on, I had nothing to worry about.


	12. a breath away from where you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the skies begin to clear and i'm at rest  
> a breath away from where you are

SÉRAPHINE POV  
The next day, I woke up in excitement because I knew I would be seeing Enjolras again for another date. However, I rose from my bed with the knowledge that I would not be able to see him until 4:00 that afternoon, as that was when he finished his classes for the day. I knew immediately upon exiting my slumber that keeping myself from getting too anticipated would be difficult.  
After some hours of reading and a small nap, followed by extensive preparation in the form of picking out an outfit and fixing my hair, it was time for me to be heading over to Enjolras's university. I began my walk there confidently and in good spirits, finding myself saying hello to and smiling at strangers. My mood was so good, it appeared, that it must have been contagious!  
I arrived at the school right on time, and I noticed some of the other boys walking out -- Grantaire, Marius, and Bahorel, in particular.  
"Hey, Séraphine!" Bahorel greeted. "Nice to see you! What are you doing here?"  
I stuttered, fully unable to come up with an explanation. What if Enjolras, for whatever reason, did not want his friends to know that he and I were dating? I needed to answer Bahorel's question without incriminating Enjolras and myself, but I had no clue in the slightest how to do so.  
God was definitely on my side that day, because Marius made eye contact with me and immediately appeared to understand my dilemma.  
"Enjolras left something at her house the other night when we all went there for dinner. She's just bringing it back to him."  
Clever, Marius! I smiled at him silently -- his fib was believable because the cloak I wore over my dress was big enough to conceal a small item if needed.  
"How do you know that?" Grantaire asked.  
"Éponine told me she'd be coming by to bring it back to him," Marius responded, with a quickness and effortlessness that truly impressed me.  
"All right. Well, the ol' bastard never comes out on time," Grantaire chimed in. "He always stays behind for a few minutes. Always finishing something up. Hope you aren't waiting here too long!"  
"Thanks for the tip, Grantaire," I laughed.  
"Anytime," he answered. "Well, we'll be seeing you around, I'm sure. Have a good one!"  
I chuckled and said goodbye to the three students. Then, I walked up to the door of the college, standing in excitement as I waited for Enjolras to come out.  
Not two minutes later, Enjolras stepped outdoors and greeted me. We didn't touch when we saw each other, but I didn't mind -- I was simply happy to see him.  
"How are you, Séraphine?" he inquired.  
"I'm doing well. And you?"  
"I'm doing well, myself. Where would you like to go today?"  
"Well, I'm sure you're hungry after your classes. Do you want to go to eat? We can go to the same restaurant as usual."  
"That sounds perfect. I must say, I'm starving."  
"Wonderful!" I replied. "Let's get going, then."  
We started our walk to the restaurant, which was not a very long one. It was also a rather easy one -- not too far from the school, and with a route that I had remembered since I had already gone to the restaurant directly from the boys' college before. Upon arrival, Donatien, our waiter from the first time we had all come, greeted us.  
"Hello, you two!" he exclaimed. "What brings you to Floraison?"  
It had just occurred to me at that moment that I had not known what the restaurant was called until that instance.  
"I am here with my girlfriend, Séraphine," Enjolras greeted. I gave a small curtsy. "You remember her, no?"  
"I do! A face as sweet as yours would be hard to forget, Mademoiselle. And you, Enjolras! I will make sure I do not tell your friends about your little miss here!"  
Enjolras chuckled, and his lack of objection made me feel as though I were right -- he did not want his friends to know about us. I understood that, especially considering how new our relationship was.  
"Here you are," Donatien addressed us. Next, he led us to our seats, pulled out our chairs, and took our orders.  
"He's so friendly," I noted to Enjolras once Donatien had left.  
"Extremely. He's here a lot; he's one of the nicest people I have ever met."  
"I can see why."  
"Hey, I've been wanting to ask you," Enjolras zoned in immediately on a topic of discussion, "how's Thierry? Have you had any contact with him or Gilles since we last visited him together?"  
"I haven't," I admitted. "I've been spending most of my free time with you!"  
"This is true," he chuckled. "I've been thinking about the little guy for the past few days. I hope his father never told him I punched him. I certainly do not want Thierry to be scared of me -- or, more importantly, of you."  
"I really don't think Gilles would tell his son you hit him," I assured, smiling at Enjolras's concern for the child. "He's too prideful to admit something like that to anyone, even his son."  
"Well, that is definitely a relief," Enjolras said. "I worry about Thierry -- his father was so rotten to you the other day that I wonder if he ever treats Thierry the same way."  
"I really don't think he does," I assuaged. "As terrible and sexist a person Gilles is, I've never had any reason to believe he's a bad father. Thierry is so happy all the time. Plus, there was an instance a few months ago where I had to help Thierry change his clothes because he had hurt his hand and could not change himself. I didn't see any cuts or bruises on him anywhere, so I definitely don't think Gilles is getting violent towards him."  
As I said the words, though, I started to wonder if I was not trying to convince myself that Thierry was not in danger of his dad. He had come home intoxicated a fair number of times, and there was no justifying his behavior towards me. Was I a bad babysitter to Thierry? Was I endangering him simply by letting Gilles under the same roof as him? Should I have reported Thierry's father to the authorities once he hit me, which would probably then lead to an investigation of his home to ensure he was not hurting his son?  
Enjolras sensed my growing tension.  
"Séraphine, are you sure?" he asked concernedly. "You look nervous."  
"I mean, I never thought Gilles was physically or verbally abusive to Thierry. But you've put the idea in my head," I confessed.  
"Don't feel bad. You are probably right, especially if you've seen Thierry's body and it did not have any scars on it. You have also had more experience with Gilles than I have; my one experience with him was negative whereas you have had, I assume, mostly positive or neutral experiences with him."  
"You're right," I said. "He's always been a little creepy, but I never had any reason until a few days ago to believe he was anything but that. Still, though, I'd like to check up on him -- maybe see if I can dig out from Thierry how Gilles treats him. Just to be on the safe side. I'll do that tomorrow when I go babysit him."  
"You're babysitting him tomorrow?" Enjolras questioned.  
"Yeah, I am. Every Tuesday and Friday. Those are the Séraphine Days."  
"The Séraphine Days?" he asked quizzically.  
"Thierry gets babysat every weekday, but there's some other people that babysit him on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. So Tuesdays and Fridays are what he calls "Séraphine Days.""  
"How precious," Enjolras chuckled. "Well, if tomorrow is going to be a "Séraphine Day," maybe Thierry would enjoy having a "Séraphine and Enjolras Day" instead."  
"What?" I asked. "You mean you want to come babysit Thierry with me again tomorrow?"  
"I do. I would like to come with you to make sure that he's not at risked of being harmed by his father."  
"Enjolras, I'm not so sure that's a great idea," I told him. "I can handle it myself. Plus, need I mention that you punched Thierry's father in the stomach not a week ago? If you're worried about Gilles getting violent, the last thing you should do is come with me. I don't want you to get hurt if you can prevent it."  
"I had a feeling you'd say that," Enjolras responded, grabbing my hand. "Listen, Séraphine. I really, really enjoyed the day that I spent with you and Thierry. He's a wonderful kid, and you're a wonderful girl. I want to guarantee his safety, but I also want to guarantee your safety. Please, let me come with you one last time -- just to ensure that you're both safe. Then I won't come again if you don't want me to. There's no way Gilles can object; if he gets angry at me for coming with you, we can just threaten to tell the police that he hit you. You still have a small scratch on your face, so we would definitely have proof."  
"What if he threatens to tell the police that you hit him?" I asked. "Violence goes both ways, Enjolras."  
"I know," he sighed. "I think my violence was more justified than his, though, especially when you consider that I hit him, a male, and he hit you, a female."  
I took all of this in. "Are you sure it's a good idea for you to come with me to watch him tomorrow? You always seem to think things out before you reach a decision. Are you sure you've thought this one out?"  
"I am."  
It looked like there was no stopping him. For a few moments, I was worried about what would happen if he were to come along with me the next day. There were so many negative possibilities, from Gilles striking one of us to Gilles getting the police involved. Once I thought about it, though, I realized how much Enjolras's confidence had reassured me that everything would be okay. And, well, it certainly was an added benefit that I considered Enjolras and Thierry among my two favorite people. Being able to spend another day with them together would be very nice indeed.  
"Okay," I agreed, smiling at him with certainty. "I'd be very happy if you came along, then."  
"Wonderful."  
The rest of the day was wonderful, of course, as I was able to spend it with Enjolras. After our date, I went home and spent some time reading before going to sleep for the night. It was all in all a very pleasant and relaxing day, but I woke up the next morning knowing the strong possibility existed that pleasantness and relaxation would evade me. Even so, I was very eager to see what the day would bring.  
At 10:00 that morning, the morning of Enjolras's and my journey to see Thierry, I heard a knock on my door. When I answered it, I was not surprised but still very pleased to see Enjolras standing before me.  
"Are you ready to go?" he asked, right after giving me a small kiss on the hand.  
I blushed in response to the kiss and grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers in between my own. "I sure am."  
"Nervous?" he questioned.  
"A bit," I confessed. "I just know Gilles is not going to be happy to see you."  
"Of course not," Enjolras laughed. "But the objective here is not to make him happy."  
He was absolutely right.  
We reached the Lavoie household shortly after we started our walk. I raised my hand to knock the door, but I paused when I remembered the gravity of what Enjolras and I were about to do. Looking up into his bright blue eyes, I whimpered.  
"Are you sure about this?" I asked, one last time.  
"Séraphine," he replied, warmly but not without some impatience, "of course. We are going together to make sure that Thierry is okay. And I will protect you both."  
I will protect you both, he'd said.  
Every shred of fear, every single tiny doubt, every little hesitation exited from my mind when I heard his vow of protection. Enjolras was strong and capable, and I had every confidence that he was willing and able to take charge if anything got out of hand. Keeping that in mind, I knocked on the Lavoies' front door.  
A few seconds later, Gilles appeared with his trademark welcoming smile -- a smile that I had learned by that point was nothing more than a ruse to gain my trust. Not seconds after he saw Enjolras standing next to me, his glance instantly changed.  
"What," he hissed, and I could tell his heart had begun to pump faster, "is he doing here with you?"  
"Gilles," I began, putting my hands up and instinctively backing away a bit, "this is Enjolras. You remember him from last time."  
"Remember him?!" Gilles burst. "How could I forget him?! This violent, holier-than-thou...How dare you bring him back here to my household after how he assaulted me?!"  
"If I may, sir," Enjolras said, "the only reason I hit you was because of your disrespect towards Séraphine's integrity. If you do not display such behaviors towards her, we will not have a problem."  
"That doesn't cut it for me! Séraphine, get him out of here right now or else I'll--"  
Suddenly, Gilles was cut off by the sound of clammering, clumsy footsteps bustling towards the door.  
"Enjoos!" little Thierry shouted, running towards Enjolras and jumping up to see him. "Séraphine, you brought Enjoos again with you today!"  
Enjolras and I exchanged a smirk before looking back at Gilles.  
"See? Thierry really, really likes him," I said to Gilles. Realizing that this issue could only be solved with kindness and a bit of apologizing, I continued, "I really am sorry that we all got off on the wrong foot the other day."  
Gilles remained angry and unimpressed.  
"Look, sir," I pleaded as I gestured at Enjolras and Thierry; the former was rustling the latter's hair. "Thierry adores him. And I shouldn't have brought Enjolras here without your permission. It was wrong of me to disobey your rules. But what's happened has happened, and can't you see how happy Thierry is?"  
Gilles momentarily made eye contact with his smiling son, and his expression softened.  
"Monsieur Lavoie," I resumed, forcing him to bring his attention back to me, "please. Let Enjolras come with me to babysit Thierry. It makes all three of us happy."  
"Please, Daddy?" Thierry begged. "I love Enjoos!"  
In what seemed like a gesture of surrender rather than one of agreement, Gilles said to Enjolras, "You have today. You can stay for one day. But only because it makes my son happy. If I hear about any misconduct from the two of you together, you're both done here. And I mean that."  
Enjolras, Thierry, and I beamed.  
"Yay! Thank you, Daddy!" Thierry cheered.  
"Truly. Thank you for allowing me to stay," Enjolras said, extending his hand for a shake.  
"Don't push it," Gilles growled, pushing Enjolras's hand aside and refusing to accept his offer of respect.  
After Gilles closed the door behind him, Enjolras and I quickly gave each other high-fives and looked down at Thierry. He was clearly eager to play, but Enjolras and I had business to take care of.  
"Thierry," I said gently, "Enjolras and I will play with you in just a few minutes. But first we have a few questions to ask you, okay?"  
"Sure, Séraphine!" he replied gleefully.  
Enjolras and I sat next to each other on the couch while Thierry took a spot on the chair across from us. His eyes were wide with curiosity and I couldn't help but chuckle.  
Enjolras, however, was quicker to get to business than I was. "Thierry, I want you to be honest with us, okay?"  
"Okay!" he agreed.  
"Thierry," I said, and Enjolras nodded in acknowledgement that I should be the one to take the lead, "is your father nice to you?"  
Thierry looked puzzled for a moment, but he quickly replied, "Of course, silly! My daddy is always good to me."  
"Has he ever...put his hands on you?" I questioned.  
"Put his hands on me?" Thierry repeated. "Well, sometimes he rubs my belly before I go to sleep."  
"Okay," I accepted. "But does he ever put his hands on you...in a way that hurts?"  
"Hurts? No!" Thierry said, appearing more confused and possibly a bit frightened. "Daddy never hurt me!"  
Before I answered Thierry, I turned next to me to look at Enjolras. Enjolras gave a firm nod, signaling me to stop asking questions.  
"Do you promise me that you're telling her the truth?" Enjolras asked.  
"I promise!" Thierry replied. "Why did you ask me those questions, Séraphine?"  
"Well," I said, trying my best to think quickly, "because I had a friend when I was little, and her...daddy hurt her."  
"He did?!" Thierry gasped. "But a daddy can't hurt his baby!"  
"Well my...friend's daddy hurt her when she was little," I continued, my voice cracking a bit. "And my friend was really, really upset about it. She felt like she couldn't trust her dad ever again. And it made her question everything she'd ever known about her dad, and everything her dad had ever said to her...I just wanted to make sure the same thing wasn't happening to you."  
I could sense Enjolras's eyes widening during this speech.  
"Séraphine, are you okay?" he whispered urgently. "Tell me."  
I nodded confidently and replied, "Fine. Just something that happened to my friend. It made me very upset for her."  
Enjolras nodded, taking my answer as truth, and smiled down at Thierry.  
"So," he said to the child, "you promise?"  
"I promise!" Thierry cheered, his joy reappearing. "No more questions! Let's play a game!"  
"Let's play a game!" I eagerly repeated, crossing over to Thierry's chair and gently tickling underneath his arms. "What kind of game do you want to play?"  
"The sun and the moon game! The sun and the moon game!" he yelped.  
"Wow," I chuckled, "you really love this game now, don't you?"  
"Well," he began, stating his viewpoint in an adorably explanatory tone, "you and Enjolras play the game super good. Séraphine, you are the best moon ever! And Enjolras is the best sun ever. I want you to be the sun and the moon again."  
"Okay," Enjolras chuckled, preparing himself for his role as the sun. "Who's going to wake up who first?"  
"First, you're going to wake up Séraphine. Séraphine, lay on the couch! You're the sleeping moon!"  
I positioned my body into a resting position on the couch and looked up at Enjolras to "wake me up."  
"Beautiful moon! Love! Arise!" Enjolras beckoned dramatically.  
A blissful squeal erupted from Thierry's mouth and he excitedly shook his fists around, waiting for Enjolras to get me up. And that, then and there, was when Thierry solemnly reminded Enjolras and me of a crucial game rule that we had clearly forgotten.  
"I guess you aren't gonna kiss her lips, Enjies," he commented sadly.  
I was torn between giggling at Thierry's repeated failures to pronounce Enjolras's name correctly and jolting up in protest -- why Enjolras and I could not kiss on the lips. In the end, I performed neither action -- I simply looked up at Enjolras with what I knew was a bright pink tint on my cheeks.  
"Um," Enjolras replied, looking from me to Thierry and failing to come up with anything further to say.  
"It's okay," Thierry accepted. "You said only boyfriends and girlfriends kiss. And you said you aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. So you can just kiss on the forehead like before."  
Enjolras and I looked into each other's eyes. Thierry had no idea that we had become boyfriend and girlfriend since our last visit! It was a very simple coverup -- all we had to do was agree with Thierry and tell him that we would just kiss each other on the forehead like the previous time. Despite the simplicity behind that solution, there was an unspoken tension between Enjolras and me regarding the topic. We could not possibly have our first kiss in the middle of the living room of the family I babysat for. Of course we weren't going to kiss simply to keep the rules of a five-year-old child's game intact -- were we?  
"Thierry," Enjolras said. "I'll just kiss her on the forehead."  
"I already told you that's fine," Thierry said impatiently. "Hurry up and do it already! She needs to wake up!"  
"All right," Enjolras agreed, leaning down so that he was in a kneeling position on the floor next to the couch. Our faces were less than an arm's length apart, and after a moment of silence he placed his face closer to me.  
In that moment, all I could think of was how much I wanted Enjolras to kiss me. Really kiss me. Not some fairytale play-game where he would leave a small peck on my lips and I would rise up from the couch pretending I didn't want more from him. I wanted his lips to touch mine and for us to really, really kiss.  
It was not going to happen, I reminded myself. Enjolras already told Thierry that.  
"Oh, my moon," Enjolras whispered, leaning his face in a bit more. I saw him eyeing my forehead, and I immediately dropped any and all hopes that he would change his mind and kiss my lips.  
"I will now wake you with a kiss," he said quietly, cupping my face with his hands. It was a move I did not expect, a beautiful and tender move that only increased my desire.  
By this moment, our faces were mere inches apart. Our eyes met, and I wondered if he was experiencing the same desire to kiss me as I was to kiss him. It was all in his hands, and he had made his decision. As I predicted, he moved his lips up towards my forehead, his hands still gently placed on either side of my face. I closed my eyes, placing myself in the character of the sleeping moon, desperately awaiting her love's kiss.  
With my eyes still closed, with my heart having resigned to the fact that I was going to get a simple kiss on the forehead, I felt a soft, somewhat moist, and very warm pair of lips mesh onto mine.


End file.
